A Different Christmas Poem

I know that I said I wasn’t going to post until after the New Year, but when I saw this, I had to before I forgot about it. And I couldn’t let myself do that. Please, take a moment to read this and think about it. Take care all.


A Different Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts...
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother...
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.



LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN
30th Naval Construction Regiment OIC,
Logistics Cell One
Al Taqqadum, Iraq


I’ll see ya’ll later.

Until Next Year.

   Well, this is my last entry, until after the New Year.  On Monday, I get to travel for 26 1/2 hours to go back to TN and see my kids for Christmas.  And even after traveling for over a full day, you know what, it'll still be the same day when I land.  Talk about jet lag.  I'm going to be just a little fried when I get there.  Then, a few days later, I pack up the kids for a 12 hour drive to visit my Mom in Virginia Beach.  Spend a few days there with my kids, Mom, sister and brother, and then pack them up for the return trip to their house.  After that, there are numerous friends to see, one I haven't seen since HS.  Then, when comes time to come back, I have to leave an extra day early because I'll lose a day enroute.  Spend the night up in Seoul because I get in too late to catch the last plane back to Daegu.  In the morning I get to catch a high speed train back down here.  I think that I'm going to need a vacation from my vacation.  At least back at work I'll be able to get some rest.  

   Sounds like a lot to put up with just to be home for a total of 15 days.  And, if it wasn't for my kids, it would be too much trouble.  But getting to spend a little bit of time with them makes it worth all of the trouble.  Not that I'm saying getting to see my kids is trouble.  (But, I'm sure they'll cause enough of that once I'm there.)  It’s the traveling part that is.  And I realize just how lucky I am to be able to see them at this time of the year.  Especially when so many others in the military will have to make due with letters and emails.  Maybe a 10 minute phone call, if they're lucky.  

   I don't know if people that have never been in the military really understand what we give up when we join.  Especially now, in a time of war.  I'm not going to get into whether the wars are right, or wrong.  As a soldier, that's not my place.  I don't remember where I heard this, but it is true.  "As a soldier, I have the luxury of being apolitical in public."  Sure, I do have my own views on it, but only my friends and family have the honor of knowing where I stand politically.  Anyway, back to where I was headed before I got detoured.  (Maybe I should ask for directions next time……Nah, I'll just trudge on.)  

   Sure, the general public knows that we give up time with our families.  That we endure the hardships of remote locations and extreme environments.  Face the danger of becoming a casualty.  Even that we give up some of our freedoms.  But, I don't know if they understand what all of that really means to us.  We do these things willingly, every one of us is a volunteer.  Some of us multiple times.  Why do we do it?  I can't speak for everyone in the military, or even a small percentage, all I can speak for, truthfully, is myself.  (But, I'm fairly certain that most service members will be along these lines.)  

   The reason I do it, and have continued doing it for the past 17 years, and 3 wars, is because I love my country and believe in our God given rights enough to lay my life on the line to protect them for you.  But that is not the only reason.  The one that matters more to me is the people that I serve with.  These are the guys that'll take care of me if something happens.  The ones that'll look after me when I'm too drunk to know what I'm doing.  They're also the people that I can turn to for help.  We will take care of our own.

   A lot of civilians think that its ok to protest our efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan all while saying that they support us.  To me it just seems that you can't do both at the same time.  How can you support us while you don't support the work we are accomplishing?  That's like saying, I want you to do this, but I won't help you in do it.  It makes us feel as if we're not doing what is right.  But, we know that we are doing the right thing.  I don't know if that made sense to you, but imagine how we feel about it.  We were attacked, and had to strike back, no one denies the truth to that.  So, we went to Afghanistan and did what we had to do.  And now, we're trying to give them a better life, and succeeding!  As for Iraq, we acted on what our intelligence reports indicated, inaccurate, or not.  (I have to admit that I wanted this war to happen.  I wanted to finish the job I started in Desert Shield/Desert Storm.  I felt personally let down that we stopped early back in '91.)  And now, we are trying to help them rebuild their country.  Its only right that we do.  (And we're the only country in history that makes it a point to help reconstruct the countries of our defeated enemies.)  But what does the American public see?  They see what the media wants them to.  They don't get to see all the good things we are doing there, or if they do, it is very rarely.  They see the things that make headlines.  And what makes the headlines?  4 American Soldiers Killed by IED.  Iraqi Parliamentary Candidate Runs for Life From Angry Crowd.  These things catch your attention better than most of the other things that we are doing there.  U.S. Forces Rebuild 3 Schools in Baghdad.  Last Bridge Over Euphrates Restored.  And as a result, the American public's idea of what is happening is skewed.  And this leads to the "I support you, but not the war" mentality.  But that's ok.  We know we are doing the right thing.  If we didn't, why would service members be reenlisting in record numbers?

   And, just remember, the next time you want to go out and protest against the war, its ok.  After all, I am putting my life on the line for you to do so.  And I do it willingly.  Also, how can you not support the work I do?  My job, my oath, is to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States of America.  Do you really want to critisize me for doing that?  Don't put me down for it.  Don't disrespect me because I make sure you can say what you feel you need to.

   But, I'll tell you what.  If you see me out on the street, come on over and feel free to discuss the war with me.  I may even buy the first round.  And I bet any Soldier would do the same, that's part of our job to.

   I'll see ya'll later.  (But not before the New Year.)  Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  

Learned Behavior?

I was surprised today when I found out about Australia having race riots. I always thought that they were better about getting along with each other than us Americans were. Granted, we definitely have our race relation problems, but for the most part we're pretty good about it. But, Australia? You never hear about any problems there. At least not racially motivated ones. Or, (More likely) Americans just don't care to hear about it. And the media complies. After all, if no one wants to know, then it won't help them make money. And the media is a business after all is said and done.

Is it in our nature to be less accepting of someone that's different from ourselves? Or is it something that we're taught as we grow up?

Or is it a combination of both? Babies don't differentiate between different races with each other. But, when they see adults that are different from their parents, they usually react in one of two ways. They either are very curious, or are afraid of them. They maintain this up till somewhere around two, or so.

(No, I'm not an expert on this, nor do I have any research to back up what I'm saying here. I'm just going off of my own observations as a father of three, and experience with the children of friends of mine.)

Which I find curious, at the same time they start really learning behavior from us, they also start trying to exert their independence from us. During their early childhood, kids' friends start becoming more and more like themselves in attitude and beliefs. Also, they start becoming more like us, the parents. And we all believe we are raising them correctly. No matter what anyone else says to us. (Starting to diverge here. Back on topic.) They see how we treat others, and start doing the same.

By the time they get to Jr. High School, (Or Middle School, if you prefer.) they are pretty much locked in for the rest of their lives. And everything they see, from that point on, only serves to further cement their beliefs, right or wrong.

Then, later in life, someone from a hated group does something wrong. And soon enough, all people of that race are suspected of only being able to do the same thing. The suspicion builds, reaches the breaking point, and you get riots like happened in Paris and Sydney.

Its only natural to want to have people like yourself around you. You feel more comfortable, and generally will share the same interests. The problems arise from when its taken to the extreme, and any difference is seen as a threat.

I have said before that I was raised to be prejudiced, and that is true. I also said that I no longer held those beliefs. That part is not entirely true. I find that if I don't constantly pay attention, I tend to slip into old habits. It usually doesn't come out, but is there none the less. And I don't like thinking that way. Like I said, you can't help the way you were raised. But you can help the way you raise your own children. And I truly hope that I have done right by my kids. I believe that I did, but don't we all.

Now, I have one final prejudice to overcome, but I don't know if I really want to. And this one I whole heartedly believe is 100% genetic. I have to try not to be prejudiced against the boys my daughters bring home. Will that happen? Not if I have anything to say about it. :) But, all fathers are the same.
I'll see ya'll later.

What?

   I took a look at the name and birthdate "test" the Bizkit put up on his site.  Now, I don't usually put much credence into stuff like that.  You know, horoscopes, astrology and the like, but sometimes, what they say can be pretty weird.  I mean, I don't think that our personalities are preordained just by when we are born, or the meaning of the name we are given.  I feel that the person we become is determined by how we are raised and life experience.

   However, as I did this little test thing, and read the results, I was surprised by how accurately it did describe my personality.  Which put some of my long held beliefs to the test.  Of course there were some points that were wrong, but isn't every rule verified by its exceptions?  

   Let me give a couple examples from what this thing said about me.  With my birthday, it lists several categories, but most of them are just statistics.  How many days/weeks/hours, etc., its been since you were born.  Birth/death rate for that year.  Stuff like that.  But the one that caught my attention (and the whole reason I started writing about this.) was Life Path Number.  This is based in Numerology, (I don't claim to have any knowledge about it.  But I may start researching.) and is supposed to represent who you are at birth and the traits you will carry throughout your life.

   My Life Path Number is 3.  And the traits for a "3" are as follows:  (You don't have to read through this, its just here for reference.  You can jump down to the bottom, if you want.)

The number 3 Life Path is one that emphasizes expression, sociability, and creativity as the lesson to be learned in this life. Here we are apt to find the entertainers of the world, bright, effervescent, sparkling people with very optimistic attitudes. A truly gifted 3 possesses the most exceptional creative skills, normally in the verbal realm, writing, speaking, acting, or similar endeavors. The lesson to be learned with a 3 life path is that of achievement through expression. The bright side of this path stresses harmony, beauty and pleasures; of sharing your creative talents with the world. Capturing your capability in creative self-expression is the highest level of attainment for this life path. The characteristics of the 3 are warmth and friendliness, a good conversationalist, social and open. A good conversationalist both from the standpoint of being a delight to listen to, but even more importantly, one who has the ability to listen to others. Accordingly, the life path 3 produces individuals who are always a welcome addition to any social situation and know how to make others feel at home. The creative imagination is present, if sometimes latent, as the 3 may not be moved to develop his talent. The approach to life tends to be exceedingly positive, however, and your disposition is almost surely sunny and open-hearted. You effectively cope with all of the many setbacks that occur in life and readily bounce back for more. It is usually easy for you to deal with problems because you can freely admit the existence of problems without letting them get you down. You have good manners and seem to be very conscious of other people's feelings and emotions. Life is generally lived to the fullest, often without much worry about tomorrow. You are not very good at handling money because of a general lack of concern about it. You spend it when you have it and don't when you don't.
On the negative side, a 3 may be so delighted with the joy of living that the life becomes frivolous and superficial. You may scatter your abilities and express little sense of purpose. The 3 can be an enigma, for no apparent reason you may become moody and tend to retreat. Escapist tendencies are not uncommon with the 3 life path, and you find it very hard to settle into one place or one position. Guard against being critical of others, impatient, intolerant, or overly optimistic.
Typically, the life path 3 gives an above-average ability in some art form. This can encompass painting, interior decorating, landscaping, crafts, writing, music, or the stage, or all of the above. You are apt to be a happy, inspired person, constantly seeking the stimuli of similar people. Your exuberant nature can take you far, especially if you are ever able to focus your energies and talents.
   It says that, basically, I'm a very social person.  Which is true.  I like to be around other people, and truly enjoy meeting new people.  And I've never had a problem with making friends, even if I go somewhere I don't know anybody.  It also says that I am a good conversationalist, both in speaking and listening.  I don't know too much about the speaking part, but I think that I am a good listener.  (I must be because for some reason most people I meet tend to want to tell me their life's story, or all of their problems.)  My attitude on life is just how it is explained above, too.  (Even the money part, unfortunately.)  But, where I have to disagree with the first paragraph is in the artistic expression part.  Yes, I do like to paint, (Not pictures, or anything so ambitious.  I paint miniatures.  Different subject there.) but I don't believe that I'm all that good.  And, really don't like to show my work off.  I guess I'm not a truly talented "3".

   The second paragraph isn't me at all.  With the exception of finding it hard to stay in one place, or position long.  (Which may explain why I have been in the Army for so long.  I get to move around a lot.  Which I do like, usually.)  I don't take life too seriously, but I don't blow it off either.  And, when I start a project, I tend to focus on its completion.  Often to the exclusion to almost all else.  And, I am rarely critical of others, almost never impatient, or intolerant.  But, I do tend to be extremely optimistic.  (Life's too short to be otherwise.)

   The third paragraph, I just don't really understand too much.  I don't have an above average ability in any art form.  That's my brother (in music), and my sister (in painting).  Unless you consider having a talent for fixing mechanical objects an art form.  (And some might.)
   Most of what is said about my personality in this is stuff that I don't believe can be much affected by how you were raised.  A talent for an art form can't be learned, you either have it, or you don't.  (You can teach someone without talent to produce art, but it will not be as intuitive for others to interpret.)  I don't have a talent for painting, though I do enjoy the time I spend doing it.  Being a good with other people is a little harder to define.  I am good with people.  I don't know why, I say what is on my mind.  I'm brutally honest at times.  Most people don't like that.  But, I have never had a problem because of it.  (Except the one time I told my Battalion Commander that I thought he was an idiot, and then continued to explain why.  But, hey, he asked what I thought, and I asked if he was sure he wanted me to answer.  Not my fault he said yes.)  
   I just noticed that I was originally trying to prove that my point of view (Nurture over Nature) is the correct one.  And here I am, unable to prove that I am correct.  I hate when that happens.  But, my views still haven't changed.  Although I do have to admit, I now have some more food for thought on the subject.  Well, time to do some research about this stuff.
I'll See ya'll later.

Rambling (Part II)

   Well, I really don't have a topic for today.  So, I think that I'll just ramble for a little bit, and see what comes out.

   I guess that I should start out with how the weekend went.  Friday night I met up with Biz and we went down to our usual place.  He wore his fangs.  Which Momma really doesn't like.  She kept telling him to take them out through out the night.  Friday was also Okie's b-day.  And it looked like she had a real good time.  She was really plastered.  Luckily for her, Fred was there to help her get home.  I don't think that she would have made it otherwise.  (She fell down the stairs on the way out.  And Biz wanted to get a picture, but wasn't quite fast enough on the draw.)  A bunch of the guys that I work with were there.  And I mean, A BUNCH.  That place had entirely too many guys in it on Friday, and not enough women.  A couple of times, guys got into some pretty heated conversations over that fact too.  The main people that I hung out with that night were Kiwi, her boyfriend (LJ), Kiwi II, the Brit and, of course, Bizkit.  LJ had a party earlier in the day because he just recently got promoted, and the group of guys that I work with and came in that night, had been at it for quite a little bit.  So, needless to say, they were already feeling good before they came in.  And soon, they started falling by the wayside, one by one.  (If I remember right, only 3 made it through the night.)

   A Canadian friend of mine showed up, and we started bullshitting.  (This guy looks like he's about 16 years old.)  Anyway, the topic of conversation got around to women.  (Of course)  And I find out that this guy is intimidated by all of the G.I.s in the place.  So much so, that he won't try for Kiwi II, like he wants to.  I tell him not to worry about that.  I'll make sure that no one fights with him over it.  But, he still needs a little bit of convincing.  I think that I'll get him there.  We'll see.

   Much later in the evening, (Early morning, actually) Biz and the Brit take off.  And a little bit after that, The main group of guys I work with bail.  (Of course, they had to police up several passed out members.  Sometimes youngins just don't know when to slow down and take it easy.)  Kiwi II was going to go with them, but she wasn't ready to go home, yet.  I told her that she was more than welcome to stay with me, and we could share a cab on the way back

.  She agreed, and joined in the conversation that I was having with this English (I hesitate to say it.) gentleman.  If you read Biz's posts, you may remember him mentioning this guy.  This is the guy that started the fight a few weeks back.  Anyway, I didn't recognize him at first, till he mentioned the fight about 20 minutes, or so, in.  Well, I got a little tense, but, there was no need to.  He just wanted to know if I'ld tell Bizkit that he wanted to buy him a drink, and put all of this behind them.  (From what I hear from other people that are friends of this guy, he's not to well liked after that little incident.  And is even more afraid of the Biz now, than before.  He didn't even want to come to the bar, because he was afraid of what might happen if he did.)  Well, I told him that I would talk to Biz, and see what happens.  I have to give it to this guy, he wants to put it behind them both.  And to come up to a guy (me) that forced him, and another guy, down from a fight, (They were both afraid of me for some reason.  Hell, they're both twice my size.  And I don't think that I look all that intimidating.  No comments on that, Biz.) and then ask him for help in fixing everything took a little bit of nerve.  For all he knew, as soon as I remembered who he was, I would have wanted his head right then and there.  

   Oh, before that, (See, I'm rambling.) my Canadian friend introduced my to a couple of friends of his, a girl from Mississippi (Miss), and another one from Manchester, England (Brit II, I know, real original).  They were both pretty nice people.  Especially Miss.  For some reason, I really don't know what, she really was able to hold my attention.  (Not a bad thing.)  She wasn't great looking, she wasn't anywhere near bad looking, either.  But, she had a strong personality, and a lot of self confidence.  I hope to see her again sometime.  

   Anyway, back to what I was talking about before I interrupted myself.  Me and this guy talked for a couple of hours, and didn't have any problems.  Even though people kept coming up and asking if there were.  And they were keeping an eye on the situation.  At this point, I was getting tired, and so was Kiwi II, so, we decided to call it a night.  (Night, right, it was 6 in the morning.)  We go get a cab, I drop her at her place, and continue on my merry way home.  (Sometimes, I hate being a nice guy.  But, don't tell anyone.)  And that was it for Friday night/Saturday morning.

   Saturday night, I met up with Biz and the Brit, and we head out for dinner.  None of us could decide on what we wanted to eat.  (Sometimes it’s a little bit hard to, when one of the group is a vegetarian.  Oh, I think I have an idea for a future topic.)  So, we ended up at McDonalds.  Not original, but I was hungry now, and I didn't feel like waiting much longer to eat. After that, we went to the bar.  And, I just wasn't getting into it that night.  To me, it was pretty boring.  A bunch of G.I.s were there getting drunk.  (I can't stand being around drunk G.I.s.  They just get too stupid and arrogant for their own good.)  The usual suspects were there, of course.  And usually, we have a great time just talking and drinking.  So, I decided to stick it out for a while and see if things pick up.  Nope.  Well, business at the place did, but not anything that stopped my boredom.  The Brit was feeling a little bit of it too.  So, we decided to call it a night fairly early, for us at least.  I walked her to a cab, and then got my own, and went home.  Compared to Friday night, Saturday blew.  But, that happens once in a while.

   Well, I think that I've rambled along enough today to make this painful for just about anyone to read.  Hopefully, I'll have something better for tomorrow.

   I'll see ya'll later.

Faith

   Religion.  Faith.  God.  What do you believe?  Or, do you believe?  Should we believe?  I mean, look how many wars have been fought over religions clashing over their differences throughout history.  The Crusades are just the most well known to those of European descent.  (Like me.)  And they still happen today.  Look at the conflicts in the Middle East.  Israel and the Palestinians, the United States and and al Queda and Iraqi insurgents.  You're probably saying, "I can see where the problems in Israel are religious based, but Afghanistan and Iraq?"  Well, they are, not from the U.S.'s point of view.  But from the people fighting us.  They have used their religion as a tool to get recruits to help them regain power.  (This is only my view on things.  I'm sure others will disagree with me.)  I don't know if the ones in charge actively practice their religion, or not.  Nor do I care.

   Just about every religion that I know of, (I have been exposed to a few.) teaches tolerance and helping others.  As far as I know, there aren't any that tell their followers to go out and kill in the name of the faith.  (Granted, all of my views are slanted towards Christianity, but I can't help how I was raised.)  Its people that want some kind of power over others that twist their faith into getting that power.  I'm not just talking about Islam here, though, that may be the first one that comes to mind to most westerners.  (Again, its all in how we are raised.)  But Christianity has been (is) just as bad about this.  We (Christians) have done things in the name of bringing the "heathens" to the light that frankly were (are) wrong.  But so have other religions.  

   I'm going to stop talking about that kind of stuff here for a little bit, but kind of stay on the same topic.  I'm going to let you know why I brought this up.  Yes, I was raised as a Christian.  And the way my family, well, my Dad, raised was very different from the person I am now.  I was raised to be prejudiced against other races, nationalities and religions.  (I was raised as a Lutheran.)  I would like to think that I have gotten beyond that, but sometimes, it still comes out.  But, what I'm going to say here is the way I really think on this subject.  (I know, this is way to serious a subject for a Friday.)  There is only ONE God.  But, that being said, I truly believe that there is no "wrong" religion, or way of worship.  This may sound egotistical of myself, and my beliefs, (Again, I was raised a Christian.  So my views go that way.) but, to me, everyone worships the same God.  The differences in religions are culturally based, not that there are different "Gods".

   Let me explain.  Now there are some religions that acknowledge that the God they have faith in, is the same that others do.  Judaism, Islam, Catholicism, Mormons and the different Christian faiths, all acknowledge that the higher power is the same one.  The differences are in the details of how they express that faith.  I feel that the same is true for the non-Christian/Islamic religions.  But, because of their radically different (From a Western point of view.) cultures, they adapted their beliefs to the way they perceive the world.

   I'm going to give you an example from my life to illustrate my point.  When I got married, it was to a Roman Catholic.  I'm of the Nazarene faith.  The Catholic church never recognized the marriage.  Why?  Because I was not (Still not) a part of the church.  And in there eyes, that is wrong.  I asked the Father that did the first ,and only, counseling session I went to, "Why won't the church recognize the marriage?  We believe in the same God."  He told me, and I quote, "Your belief in God isn't in question.  It’s the way you practice that faith."  I was in complete shock.  How could this man tell me I was wrong about this?!  And, of course I felt a little insulted, and asked him, "How do you know that the way you worship is correct?  Out of all of the religions in the world, why is yours the only right one?"  He looked at me for a minute, and said, "My faith tells me it is the right way."  At the time, I didn't have anything to say.  But thinking back on it, isn't that true for all of us?  It all comes down to your faith in whatever religion you practice that lets you know you are right.
   Everyone believes in something, even if you believe there isn't a God.  There is no right or wrong way to worship him.  The Bible never mentions any organized religion.  But, humans, being social creatures, and wanting to be around those that think the same way as they do, created them for themselves.  God doesn't care how we worship, (There are some guidelines.  Don't kill, help others in need, that sort of thing.  All religions have pretty much the same ones, too.) but that we believe in him, and are not ashamed to profess our beliefs.  And by "profess our beliefs", I mean be willing to share them with others, not beat them over the head with them.  

   On a slightly different note, America is a nation that believes in allowing all religions.  (At least, that right is protected by law.  But in practice, intolerant individuals, want to restrict that right in their little spheres of influence.)  I honestly don't know if we are the only country that allows this.  But we take our separation of church and state a little too far.  We're no longer allowed to call Christmas parties, Christmas parties because that might offend someone of a different religion.  Its now "the Holiday Season."  I'm sorry, but did I miss something here?  I've always been told that my rights stop where they intrude on someone else's.  OK.  I get that.  But isn't the reverse also true?  Just because someone gets offended by my calling this the Christmas Season, should I be obliged to change it?  I don't think so.  I'm not offended when someone tells me "Happy Kwanzaa!"  (I hope that I spelled that right.)  So, why should it be an issue when I say "Merry Christmas!"  We are becoming The United States of the Offended.  And I truly believe that we will be hurt, as a nation, if we allow it to continue.  America's strength is her diversity, but by deigning some of that diversity in the name of not offending anyone, we will erode that strength.

   I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and season's greetings.  May everyone enjoy this time of year with your families, friends, or whoever you may be with.  Take the time to thank them, and let them know they are an important part of your life, no matter the little differences.

   I'll see ya'll soon.

I don't know where this came from, so don't ask.

Biz, respect your elders! That was just a low blow. I may be older, but you act like you are. Ha! Besides, you're only as old as you feel. And old is always twice your age. Its true that out of the group of people we hang out with on the weekends, I am the oldest one. But, he is next in line for that title.

I am 35, sometime in the next few months, 36. And I've been in the Army for 17 years. Wow, 17 years. That's a long time for anybody to do the same job. I never used to understand why my Platoon Sergeants would complain about "the kids" coming into the Army. But, in the past few years, I've begun to have an idea. When I was first in the Army, to me, I was a full fledged adult. A kid no longer. As I came up in the ranks, and got a little bit of experience under my belt, I've noticed that they were right. The people coming into the Army are just kids. (For the most part, they are. Some are older than the typical 18.) They really don't know how to function without their parents around to look after them. For them, life becomes a big party when they don't have to work. And we (I'm talking about NCOs (Non-Commissioned Officers) here.) end up taking on the role of a parent with them. We look out for them, praise them when they succeed and punish them when they screw up. I take my role in their lives very seriously. After all, they are the ultimate measure of whether I succeed, or fail, in my duties.

I have been an NCO for 12 years, and I've had the pleasure of leading some great soldiers in that time. Some who have passed me up the chain. (And those are also the ones that love to tell the stories about when they used to work for me.) I have also had some serious dirt bags in there, too. These are the guys that either act stupid (cause they want out of the Army) or really are too stupid for the Army. They way I see it, for the ones that just want out, just do your job to the best of your ability and fulfill your obligation, and then get out. But, never give less than your all. For the ones that truly too stupid, if they're well meaning, and hard workers, you can always find a niche for them. But, if they are a danger to themselves, or others, give them the boot as fast as you can. Its better for all involved.

When I received my most recent promotion, of course I was ecstatic about it. I had been trying for it for the past 4 years. But then I got the rest of the story. My Platoon Sergeant was taking my squad away from me. Granted, I was coming to this job in a few months, but I thought, "How can he do this to me?" So I asked him. He told me that I got promoted out of a job, there was no more room for me in the platoon. I was to be a floater for the rest of my time there. I was devastated. I had never been in a position where I didn't have troops to care for. So, I kind of just drifted 'til I got here.

But, I don't have any troops to lead here. The entirety of my shop consists of me and Bizkit. And he's a civilian. However, this job has been good for me. I don't have to worry about someone else, and I can relax. Note, I said that I didn't have to, but there are still soldiers that I have taken under my wing, so to speak. My position has given me greater freedom in how I can teach them. (Or corrupt, if you ask my Platoon Sergeant. He doesn't like the fact that I'm friends with most of his soldiers.)

Well that's enough of that. And I think that I should get down from this soapbox, before I fall and break a hip. I want to leave ya'll with a funny picture. Its of Kiwi on the night of the Brit's birthday. Some of the guys there were running around with a non-permanent marker, and for some reason (Whatever it was is beyond me.) she let one of them draw a mouse's nose and whiskers on her face. Then, to top it off, she posed for pictures. Don't know why, but here it is.


I'll see ya'll later.

Chaos

I was reading Bizkit's daily entry, and it got me to thinking. We have different views on how to live life. Not that you should live it to the fullest, we both agree on that. But, its in the smaller details that we disagree. He said that life's obstacles cause chaos, and only by working together can they be overcome. That's where I disagree.

Life itself is chaos. Most people try to put their entire life into order, and are miserable for it. Because, you just can't do it. No matter how hard you try. Just about everything that we do is by its very nature chaotic. "No plan survives contact with the enemy." Sound familiar? Its true. I don't know who was quoted as saying that. And I don't think that it only relates to combat, but life as a whole. You make your plan to do whatever you're trying to do, and what happens? Something invariably enters the picture to cause a problem. And you make a change, on the fly, to compensate. There you have it, chaos has entered the picture. And you did it yourself.

I thrive on chaos. It gives me the energy to do things beyond what I would believe I could do. It allows me to function in an environment where, I can pull all of these disparate pieces together and make a whole out of them. I don't know if this is because I don't tend to think in a logical manner, (unlike most people) or if its because I just have some kind of gift for it. (doubtful) When things are very orderly, I get bored with it quickly. But, when I don't know exactly what to expect, I stay interested. (Maybe my head isn't screwed on quite right.) Whatever the reason, chaotic environments are where I like to be.

But on the flip side to my previous quote, there is "Its better to have a plan, any plan, than no plan at all." Which, is also true. Sounds like I'm contradicting myself here, but hang with me. Having a plan lets you set up your reactions to what may happen. So you can have a general course of action. With out one, its like trying to go down an alley in the middle of the night, blindfolded and with earplugs in. Sure you can do it, but there will be a lot of stumbling along the way. A plan can only prepare you part of the way. The rest is comes from your own experiences and general outlook on life. There's nothing more that I can say about that.

The other part that we disagree on is that he believes you have to work together with the other people in you life to overcome obstacles. I don't think so. I believe that you have to be able to overcome the obstacles on your own. If you can't, then you never will. Other people are (Man, this is going to sound bad.) tools to help along the way. Noone can solve any of your problems for you. But, they can point you in the right direction.

That being said, nobody can live completely shut off from those around them. We need others to survive. We need the social interaction, the friction and the conflict. We are social creatures, we have to have others for what they bring. And what they bring us is simple. They bring us CHAOS.

Respect

   Last night I got a call from the Brit, and the first thing that she said was, "I'm sorry."  I guess that she read Bizkit's blog and felt bad about what he wrote.  And like I said yesterday, I owe it to the friendship to hear her out.  So we talked about it.  She told me that she didn't remember what happened Friday night because she was too drunk.  And I accept that.  After all, I was quite pickled myself.  However, I won't accept that as a reason again.  Once, ok, but after you become aware of something, you shouldn't let it happen again.  So, we shall see this weekend.

   But what does this all boil down to?  If you ask me, its about trust.  After all, we don't make friends with people that we don't trust, in some form or another.  Every person that I count among my friends, I trust.  Some more than others, but still trust.  (Wow, using that word a lot here.)  The people that I really don't trust, I consider either acquaintances, or co-workers.  That's just how things work out for me.

   But then, the question becomes, "How far should you trust someone?"  I don't have a clue on how to answer that.  Everyone is different, and so is every situation.  All I can say is to do whatever you feel comfortable with.  I have friends that I trust so much, that I know if I drink entirely too much, they'll make sure I get home without anything happening to me.  Then there are a few I know if the same thing happened, would definitely take advantage of it.  (shudders)  Both groups are my friends, I just watch what I do more carefully around one than the other.

   Well, to change gears a little bit here.  Most of my friends here are surprised by the way I talk.  No, not my accent (Not that I have one.  Just ask me, I'll tell you.) or the words I use, but by the simple fact that I don't lie to people.  I tell people straight out what I think.  And if you ask me question on something, you better really want to know my answer.  Most people assume its because I'm arrogant and don't care how what I say affects others.  That's not it.  Its because I believe that everyone deserves enough respect to hear the truth from me.  Everyone.  That's why I got so pissed off when I believed I was being disrespected by a friend.  Strangers I can take, not friends.  Besides, you wouldn't believe how hard it is to get someone to believe the truth sometimes.  Now, there are times where lieing would be the better course of action.  Like when you don't what to hurt a friend's feelings, or sound insulting.  Sometimes its hard to do.  But I really believe that it is always for the better.  As an example, me and Kiwi (I, not II) were talking one day, and she said that sometimes the things I say turns her stomach.  Of course, I was a little confused so I asked her to explain what she said.  She told me it was because she new that everything I said was exactly how I felt about something.  So when I tell her something good, like complement her on how she looks or how I hope that things work out with her and her boyfriend, she knows that I'm not just saying what I think she wants to hear.  (long sentence there)  But, by the same token, I have said things that have upset her, which is where the turning of her stomach comes in.

   I also believe in always keeping my word once I've given it.  And, unless something prevents me from being able to do that, I will.  So, as a result, I don't say I'll do (or not do, as the case may be) something very lightly.  I have friends that have picked up on this very quickly, and have used it.  But that is neither here, nor there.  And I expect the same thing in return.  If you tell me that you're going to do something, you had better do it.

So, what this great circular route comes down to is respect.  If you give respect to other people, you'll get in return.  I have been all over the world.  And in every country I've been stationed in, the G.I.s are both liked (for the money we bring) and hated.  Or, I should say tolerated, not hated.  We're tolerated because most of us are rude and disrespectful of people in other countries.  That is where most of the problems come in, especially when drinking is involved, and why I don't like to hang out with G.I.s.  I have never had any problems with locals anywhere I've been, even ones that dislike foriegners, i.e. American G.I.s.  Why?  Because I treat evryone with respect, unless they show they deserve otherwise.  And in return, I am respected, maybe not as an American, or a soldier, but at least as an individual.  After all, everything has to start somewhere.

   I'll see ya'll later.

Oh, my head!!!!!

Well, I had an interesting weekend. Well, not really, but it wasn't a normal one. Friday started out ok. Me and Biz went to go meet up with a friend of ours (the Brit) at her place and go from there to help her celebrate her birthday. (Which is today.) We drank a couple of beers and polished off a bottle of wine. Everyone was in a good mood. We head out to the bar to meet up with some other friends, and commence to having a good time. Of course there was quite a bit of drinking going on. (As a matter of fact, one of our friends, the Cuban, passed out and had to be carried out of the bar, but this is later in the night.) Everyone is having a good time. Well, later people start asking me where the Brit is, I didn't know and couldn't find her. So, I start to get a little worried about her. I remember her saying something about going to the Bubble (a real dive and hole in the wall. But popular with G.I.s and Korean women that like them.) before we left her place. I grab up Biz and head down there to see if she's there. Guess what she is. Well, we stay there a little while, Biz has to leave cause its just too crowded for him, and I am there just getting more an more angry at seeing the way she treats people she claims are friends, including me. So, I leave and head back to the Crew. A little later, she comes back and sees me and asks what I'm angry about. I tell her its her, and try to explain why.

(Ok, a little explaination is in order here. The way I was raised, if you go out with friends someplace and are going to leave, you at least let them know so that noone will worry about what happened when they can't find you. Its just a common courtisy and respectful of your friends. Not doing it is disrespectful, at least to me. And one thing that pisses me off faster than anything is being disrespected. But, I will always try to talk to the person to see if it was intentional or not. Accidents do happen.)

She gets angry at me when I try to explain. Hey, I don't want to lose a friend, and I consider her a friend. So I walk away, still angry. Anyway, it gets later and everyone leaves. I try to say goodnight to her, and get completely ignored! That sets my blood boiling again. (People that know me know that I'm a very hard person to get angry.) Well, I'll give it one more chance, if I see her this weekend, for both of us to explain. It may have been that there was no slight intended and the alcohol just set us off. So, with her still considered a friend, I owe it to the friendship to try. Especially when she really needs a friend, and not just another guy trying to get her in bed. Out of all of the guys that we hang out with, that aren't involved with someone, me and Biz are the only two that won't sleep with her. But, she treats friends like we're disposable, that may be why she doesn't have many. And I won't deal with that anymore. If she doesn't want to listen to what I have to say, she has that right. But, that'll be it. Later. The real shame of this is that so far, she has been a good friend. I will miss that, and hope that we can work things out.

So we leave the Crew (me, Biz, Kiwi II, LZ, Porkchop I know you haven't heard about the last two, yet.) and take the taxi ride from hell down to the college area to another club. The first cab we get ends up taking us the wrong direction and toward the main post for the area. (Bad idea at that time of the night.) We tell him to pull over and let us out so we can get a cabbie that knows where we want to go. We get another cab, and after a little bit of discussion, Hangul on his part, English for us, we finnaly get it understood where we wanted to go. (All because I forgot one little word in the phrase, completely changed the meaning. But I got it in my head now. To many languages up in there, I keep getting them mixed up.) The whole ride over there, Porkchop is trying to get the driver to pull over so that he could step out and piss. He had to go REAL BAD! But the driver wouldn't do it. So, when we get there, we all form a wall for him to be able to go right there on the sidewalk. We were all drunk and didn't care. We go to the club, running into some other friends of ours along the way. But the club was dead. I was really surprised, because this place is usually packed on Friday nights. This place is usually filled with Koreans and a few Americans thrown in for flavor. But there was hardly anyone in there. (Which I thought was good for reasons all my own.) Well, after a little bit, me and Biz decide to call it a night. On the way to the cab stand we stop off at an airsoft shooting gallery type place. Where you can fire Airsoft (plastic BBs for ammo) versions of the M-9 9mm pistol, M-4 rifle, AK-47, and the M-134 mini-gun. Even drunk, me and Biz were knocking down targets like it was nothing. (Biz said that our shooting was attracting a crowd. Which is saying something, cause it was COLD.) And we each won a little wind chime thing. (The one I got was WAAYYY to girly, so I gave it to a couple of friends in the barracks.) Anyway, we also get a hot dog before getting the cab. Go back to Biz's I'm trying to crash on the couch and that's when I realize I really drank WAY too much. Yep, I wasted the money on a hot dog. But, I felt better afterwards and fell right to sleep. But I paid for it the next morning, boy did I pay. (You know, as old as I am, I should know better than to drink when I get angry. Because everytime I do, I drink too much. Oh well.)

The next night was better, Me and Biz went out to the Crew. I started by sticking to Cokes. But I ended up having 2 drinks that night. But only 2, and I took my time with them. The Brit didn't show up. Which was probably a good thing, as I was still angry. (Angry, but sober. Much better than angry and drunk.) I went home early, cause I just wasn't feeling it. Plus, we were supposed to get some snow. We did, but it didn't last long. And the rest of my weekend passed rather blandly. But that's about it.

Now for a few pics. Sorry, but Biz din't dance anywhere there was a camera, if he danced at all.

Remember I mentioned the Cuban?



And this was the result of our snow storm.




I'll see ya'll later.

Its FRIDAY

   Yeah!!!!  Its FRIDAY!!!  Well, another week has finally come to an end.  And its about time too.  Tonight me, Biz and the Brit are going to go and celebrate her (the Brit's) birthday.  I'm sure that there will be plenty of drinking to go around.  And then, tomorrow, is the late Thanksgiving dinner over at another friends house.  Looks like it'll be a good weekend.  Oh, and Biz says that there won't be any pics of him dancing, we'll see.  (evil laugh.)

   Also, I'm sending my laptop off to get fixed.  (again)  But, I won't have it back into my posession until I go home for leave.  So, I'm still stuck with the comp at work.  Oh well.  At least I still have some internet access.  Even if it is monitored and restricted.

   Well, I really don't have anything to write about, so that's about it for today.  Oh, by the way, today is a half day at work for me too.  So, even better.  I'll see ya'll later.

Bad Day?

   Its December.  Christmas time.  The time of year when we're all supposed to think about our fellow man.  This must be some kind of hipocritical joke, or something.  As far as I can tell, Christmas time is all about me.  (I'm not saying "me" meaning myself, just in a general sense.)  You know what I mean.  With most people its not "its better to give than receive", its just the opposite.  They look forward to getting the gifts for what they might contain, not for the thought behind them.  (Starting to ramble, focus Chinook.  Focus.)  

   Ok.  As far as looking forward to getting gifts, instead of giving them, everyone truly does this.  Wether, or not, we admit it.  There is just a certain satisfaction in having someone think enough of you to go to the trouble of getting something just for you.  Or is it because they think that they'll feel guilty if they don't get a gift for you on the chance that you got one for them?  Personally, I like to believe the former, since I generally tend to see the good in people.  (At least the people I know.  Others, well, I'll get to that in a little bit.)  But, I think, that this is something everyone has a different opinion on.

   And, from what I can tell, it gets worse every year.  I mean, this year I started seeing Christmas decorations (in the PX) and advertisements (on AFN) right after Halloween.  I can remember when stuff like that wouldn't start before December 1st.  Then, over the years, it slipped to right after Thanksgiving.  (Remember, this is all from an American's point of view.)  And now, it starts after Halloween.  So, basically, for 2 months we are bombarded with stuff telling us that we need to get gifts for other people.  And, by insinuation, we should expect them in return.  When did we get this bad?

   I know that all of this seems extremely negative, but here is a good point to bring up.  There are times I believe that noone expects the return you get from giving to be a gift.  I don't know how many of my 3 readers have kids, (Well, I do know about 2 of you.) but they are of of the universal joys in this world.  When you give a present to your kids, and see their faces light up when its opened.  That is all that you ever need to get from them.  You never expect anything more, and everything that the world can throw at you can never change that.  Then, they get older, and start paying attention to what their friends get, and all of the ads on TV.  And, slowly, ever so slowly, they start to lose that joy they once had.  Its sad, really.  But we only remember when they were younger, and that makes all the difference to me.

   Then, there is fellow man stuff.  I don't know how other people will look on me for this, but, if I don't know you, I don't really care what happens to you.  I don't have the time, or inclination to care about people that don't concern me.  (This is why people I know call me a cold hearted bastard, and I admit its very true.)  Then, on top of this, I have a strict order of precedence on how much I may care.  It goes like this: Family(there are a few friends in this category too); Friends; US Soldiers; Other US Military; Americans; then everyone else has to scramble for a spot.  This doesn't mean that if someone I didn't know got in an accident, or had a heart attack, right in front of me that I wouldn't try to help.  I would, but only because it would be the right thing to do, not because I cared.  

   Sorry about that, I didn't mean to get all sinical.  And I'm not in a bad mood.  I guess it was just one of those times to vent.  That does happen once in a while.  I'll try to keep it to a minimum in the future.  Anyway, to end on a happy note, in 19 days I get to go back to Tennesse to see my kids for Christmas.  I get to be with them for just over 2 weeks, and I am looking forward to it.  During that time there won't be any updates, my time will be for them and the other memebers of my family I will be seeing with them.  

   As always, I'll see ya'll later.

Bored at work.

I was just sitting around this afternoon wating for the end of the day with nothing to do but surf the web for a while, and I come across this picture. I found it on Military.com. And the caption reads, "Here's a pic of the latest acquistion of weaponry of the New Zealand Defence Force." Of course, when I saw that I just had to send it in an email to Kiwi to get a rile out of her. Well, it didn't turn out quite how I expected it to. She ended up laughing about it. Which is good, just not as much fun as if she'd been just a little angry, but still able to get the joke.

Which doing this made think. Did you ever notice that with people that you consider friends, when you find out what buttons to push, you try to annoy them with those things. Not to get them angry, but to poke fun at them. (Well, at least I do. And so do most of my friends. Hmmm, birds of a feather?) But why do we do it? Does it make you better friends?

And that question brings up the other end of the spectrum. The people we dislike. With them, it certainly isn't to become better friends. We do it to purposely get them angry. So why do we do the same thing with both groups of people? I don't know. I'm just thinking out loud. (Well, sort of out loud.) Well, it looks like this is turning out to be another ramble. So, I think that I'll go ahead and stop here.

Oh, one more thing. I checked out Lil'Froggy's site, and its not too bad. It seems she decided to start her's up for the same reason that me and Bizkit did. A place to basically say what ever she wants to say, and not have to worry (too much) about it turning into an argument if someone has a problem with what she says. Check it out.

I'll talk to ya'll later.

Lazy Morning.

Ok, well, I didn't write anything yesterday. I don't know why, but, I just couldn't think of anything to talk about. (Especially since I have a total of, I think, 2, maybe 3 readers. I'm almost to the big time now.) But I was kind of surprised by the comment that Lil' Froggy left on my last entry. Not by what it said, or how it was said. (She's has taken the time to think about what she puts there and hasn't been rude, or disrespectful, at all.) But it was the length of her reply. Her first reply was very short and to the point. And this one, while lengthy, didn't ramble, or get off the subject. She also has a blog here on Blogspot, you can see it here. I haven't had a chance to look at it yet. (Bizkit pointed out to me just this morning.) But, I will soon, and I'll let ya'll know what I think. Anyway, Lil' Froggy, thanks for takeing the time to read my ramblings and the time to think about your reply to them. And yes, we did meet at the pool. I used to work with Brewer, Bruner, Murry and Pompa a couple of years ago. (Back before I came to Korea the first time.) It was just one of those in passing things, and we never said anymore than "Hi" to each other. And when Bizkit told me who you were, I remembered. That's all.

Since I've started this by talking about blogs and such, I maight as well continue. If you'll recall back a few posts ago, I mentioned a blog by a Singaporian girl that goes by the name of Izzy, The Sarong Party Girl is the name. Anyway, I made a mistake when I mentioned her age, I said she was 22. I was wrong, she's only 19! Why am I so impressed about this? Come on, she is only 19 and she has an outlook on life that most people twice her age are just getting around to. (At least it looks this way from her writeing.) I sent her an e-mail to let her know that I was putting up a link to her blog from mine. (To me, that just seems like a common courtesy. Lil' Froggy, you'll be getting one too.) And to let her know that if she disapproved, I would take out the link. She wrote me back telling me that it’s a free world, and basically, she didn't have a problem with it. So. I thought that I would give her site another plug. She really is a fairly good writer.

And the last site that I check out on a regular basis is Bizkit's. Mostly because reading his stuff, and hearing what goes on that he doesn't write about, (We do work in the same shop together and hang out after work.) gives me quite a few things to write about on here. And sometimes, only sometimes, I'm able to show him (and some of the others involved) a different point of view. Besides, he loves drama, (just ask him, he'll tell you.) and sometime this generates a little bit more. Not to mention, it’s neutral ground.

Well, that's all that I have for now. I may write more later today, but who knows? I'll see ya'll later.

I'M BACK!!!!

   Well, I'm back.  A little earlier than I expected, (which is always a good thing.) and, it was just in time for Thanksgiving.  Unfortunately, my laptop went out on me again, (That is starting to really get annoying.  I mean I just got it fixed, and here I have to again.) and I have to send it all the way back to the States to get it fixed under warranty.  (The company won't let me use the repair center in South Korea because I bought it in the States.)  So, I'm stuck right now with using the comp at work till I get the laptop back.  What does this mean to you?  Well, nothing really.  I just wanted to complain about it a little.
   For those of you who don't know about Thanksgiving, let me talk about it for a little bit.  Thanksgiving is one of the larger American holidays, right behind Christmas, and in front of the Fourth of July.  It’s a time for families to get together and just enjoy each other's company, and reflect on just what we have to be thankful for.
   Well, this year, for me, I got back the night before and didn't have the time to set anything up with the friends that I have here.  So, we decided to have our own little Thanksgiving on the 3rd of December.  With that decided, this holiday weekend became just another 4-day weekend.  I ended up going over to Bizkit's house and drinking a little bit of Mekong (Thai whiskey that I picked up on the way home.) and watching a couple of movies with him and the Brit.  Also, Biz tells me that he's gotten back together, sort of, with his ex-fiancée.  (I could have hit him when he said that, but, its his life.  And, I thought that maybe it could work out between them.)  And then I went home. (I was too tired from the flights to go out.)
   Then on Thanksgiving night, I met up with the Brit to go out and have a little bit of fun.  (Bizkit was invited too, but he had a bad feeling what with it being a holiday and all.)  So, it was just me and the Brit.  We met up at around 8:30 PM and went to our favorite watering hole.  (I had already polished off a half of one of the Mekong bottles I brought back, and was in a rather good mood already.)  We were the first ones in the place and Momma (the owner) and her daughter were happy as always to see us.  And we proceeded to have a very good time.  I got totally trashed, bad enough that I was actually pretty willing to go out and dance at a club with her.  Well, we were both pretty drunk.  Even with both of us hanging on to the other one, we couldn't walk very straight.  We said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.  All in all, a good night, oh, but the next morning I was hating the night before, if you know what I mean.
   The next night, Friday, I went out again, this time Biz didn't bow out, and we met up with the Brit and Kiwi.  However, Kiwi brought another Kiwi into the group.  (Kiwi II?)  We did some more drinking, and a little bit of dancing, and called it a night.  No fights, arguments, or anything else to ruin the night.  All in all, a good night.
   Anyway, enough about my life since I got back.  I want to talk about Biz and his ex for a moment.  (This is all from my point of view.  As he hasn't wanted to talk too much about it, or at least doesn't appear to.  And I'm not one to pry, without reason.)  Apparently, while I was gone and unable to give him advice, he and Lil' Froggy started talking seriously again.  (Which could be good.)  And they had come to some kind of understanding, exactly what, I don't know.  But he did say that she might come out to visit him in the spring.  (To me, being willing to take a 17 hour one way flight just to see someone for a week says a lot about how they feel.)  And that things were almost back to the way they had been before he left.  That was Wednesday night, Fast forward to Friday night when I saw him next, things weren't so happy in Bizkit's World.  See, he has a picture, or at least did before the house cleaning, on his blog with him, the Brit, and the Okie.  It went up with his first post, and had been there ever since.  I guess that she saw it for the first time and got a little bit miffed.  Seeing that and the title of the post, "Single and Loving It."  Personally, I don't see where the problem comes in.  Maybe she got jealous over the pic and title.  But, where is it any of her concern?  They had broken up, and were on different sides of the world.  To me, the first reason alone is good enough that he shouldn't need to worry about what she thinks.  So, when she gets angry with him, (just guessing here) obviously, he gets angry back.  Words are exchanged, and they're back to where we started this little circle.  No offence Lil' Froggy, but I wouldn't even have given you the chance to work things out.  I would have moved on with my life and never looked back, nor careing about what happened to you.  (I have been called a cold heartless bastard by people before, and will be again.  After all, it is true.)  Its just the way I am.  Biz actually wanted to work things out and have you back.  Its just the way he is.  And while I do know who you are, (We have met before, a couple of years ago) I really don't know you, so I can't have any idea what you think about the whole situation.  (Other than what you have posted on Biz's blog.)  My advice, unless you two are going to be at least on the same continent, don't even try getting back together.  The slightest thing can be misread, or misunderstood, and set everyone's blood boiling.  And it is too hard to work out.  And when you have trust issues on top of it, just forget about it completely.  
   Well, that's all I have for now.  Well thought out comments are always welcome, all others will be ignored.  I'll see ya'll later.

Got to take a break

Sorry, but I have to take a short break from the blog. I'll be gone for a few weeks and won't have access to the net. Check back every once in a while, who knows, if I get access, I may put up post. If not, then I'll have a large update when I get back.

And Lil Froggy, thanks for coming by. And you are more than welcome to put comments here, just like Sarah. I only ask that you keep it civil, and think before you type.

I'll see ya'll later.

Ramblings

   What’s up for today?  Absolutely nothing.  That’s right, I’ve got nothing.  I thought that I would have plenty of time while I was on duty, but it was an extremely busy night.  (I actually prefer the boring nights.  Boring is good.)  So, I didn’t get to write anything last night.  

   In light of last night, I think that I’m just going to ramble for a few minutes here.  So, please, bear with me.  (Maybe this will give me ideas for later.)  There are a few other blogs that I read on a regular basis. (actually, two.)  One is Bizkit’s, the other is by a woman that calls herself Izzy.  (Her blog is here.)  She’s fairly young, (I think she’s about 22, or so.) from Singapore, and not afraid to live the way she wants to, or speak her mind.  (Both are things that I respect.)  She takes the time to think about how she wants to say something, instead of just flying off the handle and doing the internet equivalent of screaming.  If you’re interested, (my one reader) go check out her site.  I think its worth it, otherwise, I wouldn’t recommend it.

   I don’t know if you’ve been keeping up with what’s been going on between Bizkit and his ex (Lil Froggy.  And I know that you have, Sarah.), but it seems that they may be coming around to see things the way the other does.  Of course, I could be wrong.  But, it seems as if their messages back and forth (his on the site and her’s in the comments section there.) are getting a little nicer.  (And I’m still hoping that she may comment here.)  And I do hope that things may work out between them, at least as far as they can get back on speaking terms with each other.  Other than that, I think it’s too much to hope for.

   Well, that’s about all for now.  I’m going to get some sleep.  See ya’ll later.

Love lost, friends found, and dinner

   Sarah thanks again for your comments.  It’s nice to see that not everyone flies off the handle.  It is appreciated.  (And the pic of him and the girls was just to get a rise out of everyone back home.  And, well honestly, it appears to have worked.)

   Anyway, do you remember me talking about my friend that was having the problem with dumping a guy?  Well, I think that me, and two other friends, were able to get through to her.  (Well, there is a little more to it than that.  There always is.)  We talked for a long time.  (Well, for a guy, the hour and a half IS a long time to talk about someone else’s relationship.)   And she admitted to starting to get involved in one of our friends.  So I was right, kind of.  It wasn’t the friend I thought it was.  But, he’s still a much better guy then the one she was with.  (I’ve known him for almost a year and a half.)  Now, I’ll just have to wait and see if she sticks to her guns.  (Keep your fingers crossed.)  I know that I wish her and the new guy the best.

   But this brings me to a new problem.  What happens when the three of them are in the same place at the same time?  (You know it will happen.  We all hang out at the same places.)  Both guys are friends of mine.  (Ok, equal there.)  Both are in the same unit as me.  (Still no help.)  Do I break it down to as stupid a thing as how long I’ve known each one?  (I’ve known the new one a little longer)  Do I base it off of previous treatment?  (The new guy is just starting.  And I kind of sympathize with the old one.)  I really don’t know what to do.  Or, even if I should do anything at all.  But, thankfully, I have a little bit of time to think about it.

   Well, enough about depressing stuff.  As ya’ll know, Bizkit and I are friends.  And last night we had dinner over at his place with Kiwi and the Brit.  The Okie was supposed to show up too, but called and said she couldn’t.  I made beef enchiladas (cheese ones for the Brit, bloody vegetarians.), salsa (home made, not from a jar.), and some refried beans (these are from a can, haven’t figured those out yet).  Yes, I can cook, and pretty damn well too.  Everyone enjoyed the meal, including Brit.  (Even though she didn’t know what and enchilada was.  I give her props for trusting me enough to try them.)  Kiwi picked up some wine.  And we all agreed, (Except for Bizkit, he had Absinth.) that the wine tasted terrible.  I think that its taste just clashed too much with the food.  But it’s the thought that counts, after all.  Everyone had a good time.  We watched a couple of movies.  (Eurotrip and Closer)  I love Eurotrip, it’s a hilarious movie.  (Especially the Italian guy on the train.)  But Closer, man that is a screwed up movie.  I don’t see why they all just didn’t kill themselves.  (Other than it wasn’t in the script.)  If you’ve seen the movie, and you like it, I think you need your head examined.  After that, me and Brit left to go our separate ways, and Kiwi stayed to watch another movie.  Bizkit told me what it was, but I forgot.  All in all, it was a good night.

   Today, I was able to leave at lunch and not come back.  What a way to start a four day weekend.  But, I have to pull 24 hour duty tomorrow.  What a way to screw up a four day weekend.  At least I will get a few days of it.  And right now, it looks like I’ll be meeting Kiwi, Brit, and Bizkit.  (Along with the usual cast of characters that I don’t mention that often, i.e. Okie and Fred.)  So, because I don’t have net access while I’m on duty, there may not be a post tomorrow.  But I plan on working on one with all of the time I’ll have.  Which means you can look forward to a well thought out (at least for me) one on Saturday. 

   Well, that’s about all I have for now.  I’ll see ya’ll later.

People actually read my stuff!!!!!

   I got a comment?!?!  Someone actually took the time to read my blog! (Someone other than bizkit.  I haven't actually told anyone about this yet.  This deserves a change from what I had prepared to put up today.)  Hey, its someone that doesn't totally agree with me, but that's ok.  After all, she (I'm assuming she, going by the name.)  didn't rant, or try to be insulting, or anything like that.  Criticism like that, I can take.  What I can't stand is when someone gets pissed off, and then immediately starts hammering away at the keyboard.  People, if you want someone to take you seriously, or even listen to you, calm down and think about what you want to say.  It makes things so much easier.  

   But, before I go any further in this, I have a question (or more) for Sarah.  How did you find out about my blog?  How do you know bizkit and his ex? (Obviously by your comments, you do.)  And, (last one, I promise) what prompted you to reply to what I wrote?  I'm very curious to find out this info, so, if you would be so kind as to let me know.

Ok, now on to respond to what you said, Sarah.  (I'll do it here, because, to me, it doesn't seem right to use the comments section.  That's for my guests.  Now, that I know I have at least one.)  First, about bizkit and his ex's situation.  The first thing I said was that everything I know about it is from one side.  And I only used it as an example because it was at the top of my mind. (What little space there is, means the top is a very small place.)  Its as simple as that.  You did point out a few things that I didn't know about, and that I had only heard from his side.  But what you told me is still second hand.  If you would relay a message to her, please tell her that she is welcome to come here and clear up anything that I have wrong.  But, only if she thinks about what she is going to say first.

   And I agree with you that we need to listen to whoever we are dating a little more closely sometimes.  But, you can't constantly look for a hidden meaning behind what she says.  Doing that is what gets us into trouble.  If I want something, I'll tell you straight out.  No beating around the bush, or hints.  Men aren't wired that way.  Women, on the other hand, usually hint at what they really mean.  (There are exceptions, there always are.)  All I want is for the woman to tell me what she means straight out.  Is that too much to ask for?  I don't think so.

   Thanks for the tips.  (If you don't know what I mean, check out Sarah's comments to my Women post.)  But being friends after a relationship is, in my experience, almost never possible.  Even if you were just friends before.  (I only have two women that are friends after we were involved with each other.  One, is someone I consider family.  The other, we've only recently become friends again.  Mostly because of our son, and because we've had years to get over the wrongs that we each think the other one caused us.)  You're right about the attraction thing, but that is also what will cause the problems with being just friends afterward.  I don't like to get involved with someone that I consider a good friend, because, unless she's an extremely good friend, you can't just go back to the way it was before.  It gets too awkward.  And the jealousy thing sometimes comes into play, especially if you think you're better than the new person.  (And you will always think that, unless you have a low self-esteem.)  

   That's all I have for now.  And again, Sarah, thank you for at least reading and leaving a comment that made me think.  See ya'll next time.

Women!

What can I say about them. They can be a pain in the ass sometimes, actually, more often than not. But, We must like the torture, because we keep coming back for more. Think about it, most of us (I mean men here.) have had a bad relationship (or two, or three, etc., etc. And I do mean bad relationships, not bad women, every man needs those once in a while) at one point or another, but we still go after the same type of woman. (Most of the time.) Why is that? Personally, I really don't know. And I do know that I have done it myself. Is it the challenge of overcoming hardship that drives us to basically beat our heads up against a wall? Do we just enjoy the pain of those type of relationships? (And I'm sure some people do) I really don't get it. I've talked about my friend that is having the same type of problem with her ex/current boyfriend, so I know that this problem affects women too. But seeing as I don't have much info to go on in that area (other than trying to help my friends) I'll concentrate on the male side of the problem.

As an example of what I'm talking about, I'll use Bizkit's current problem. (Sorry man, if it bothers you that I used you in here.) His ex-wife, from what I've heard (admittedly, one sided), is a lazy, mooching bitch. She uses his son against him to get him to do what she wants him to do. This man loved her, and more than likely still has some feeling for what happens to her. I'm sorry, but how can you care enough to take the time to WANT to have a child with someone, and then turn around and use the kid as a bargaining chip?!? I've seen this quite a few times. And it really is painful to the guy who basically gets thrown out in the cold when this happens. Of course, we would never admit it in public, (or private, for that matter) and go thru our lives like it is not of too much importance. Anyway, I'm starting to go off on a tangent here. As I said, he gets divorced from her, and she ends up treating him like shit. (And apparently was before this, as well.) He ends up doing what most men do when this happens, he doesn't let anybody in, if he thinks that they will end up causing pain. While this is great in theory, it is bad in practice. (I don't want to think how many I missed by doing this.) And during this time, we try to find women that are different to the one that screwed us over. But, we never really give them the chance to show us how different they are. So, we do this for a while (weeks, months, years, in my case) and we end up looking for the ones like the one that hurt us. (I think that we do it subconsciously.) This is what happened (I think) to Bizkit with his (now) ex-fiancée. From what it sounds like to me, she started treating him the same way the ex-wife did, and in the same way too. (At least this time he wasn't married yet.) I've done the same type of thing, and so have others that I know.

Why do we do this? Is it because we end up missing the same type of person? Or, is it a quality that that person had that we are attracted to? (Bizkit tells me that, for him, it’s a quality. But, I'll let him explain it on his own, if he wants.) For me, I think that it’s the personality traits that I go after. (Don't get me wrong, a good personality is a must, yes. But, If she doesn't look good enough to attract my attention in the first place, I'll never find out about the personality. I'm sure it’s the same with everyone, whether or not you admit it.) And we almost always find ourselves back in the same type of relationships. Doesn't this sound kind of stupid on our part? So, we got to ask ourselves how do we stop this from happening?

(A little disclaimer here. I have no idea if these suggestions are by any means going to work. Think about it here. I'm just an old soldier, not a relationship counselor, or anything like that. But, I have been emotionally beat up a few times by bad relationships. So this stuff may actually work. Who knows?)

Obviously, the first thing is (surprise, surprise) knowing that there is a problem. (Hi. My name is Chinook, and I'm addicted to bad relationships.) But this is actually the hard part. And without knowing the problem, you can't fix it.

First, try changing locations. Not always a doable thing, especially when you have things like a job, house and stuff like that. But, lucky me, if you're in the military, this one is easily solved. And I have to admit, it wasn't just the location change, it was also the different culture too. So, maybe just moving from place to place in the States might not help, but you never know till you try.

Next, don't go to the same places to meet women. But we are creatures of habit, and like to go to the places we feel comfortable in. Well, all I have to say about that is, shake it up a little. Go to a place you wouldn't normally. If you like Country music, (Don't know why, but some people are deranged that way.) and always go to those type of places, stop for a while and try a Rock or Hip-Hop club. Who knows, you might even enjoy going there for the people, if not the music.

Third, and finally, consciously look for someone that is the opposite of what you normally go for. But the only way to do this is to know what the problem is. (DUH) If you like the extremely outgoing type, try to get a shy person. (Sure that could be a lot of work, but after all, the chase is always the best part of any hunt. And this is a hunt.) If you like a blonde, go for a redhead, or brunette. Change it up a little, you may just end up happier.

Wow, I'm starting to sound like Ann Landers here. (Must stop that.) Anyway, don't worry about taking chances, you're going to have to sooner or later, might as well do it on your own terms, rather than her's. And lets face it, all men need women in their lives (Except for gay men.) because without them, life really sucks.

I promise that next time I won't get as much into things like this. I have a much better subject in mind. (Well, yes, better subject, but still about women, and a little more interesting.)

I hate Mondays.

Well, not all Mondays, the ones that are holidays are fine with me, same as the ones where I don't have to go to work. The hate just gets transferred to the next work day. It really seems that most people hate Mondays, and the people that don't are considered strange. Why is that? Anyways, I'm getting off of my subject already. Mondays are just terrible days, you know that you have to go back to work, or school, or whatever, and you REALLY don't want to. After all, the weekend was so much fun, you just didn't want it to stop. This morning, the first work day with my boss back in country, really blew. Since I'm in the military, we have to do PT (Physical Training i.e. exercises) at least three days a week, at least. My boss however, is a workout junky, and wants to do PT five days week. That's fine by me, but please let me get away with the three day a week plan.
As I said earlier, today was his first work day back, so we do his PT program. (Its called Cross Fit. I personally hate it, but he swears by it. And I really don't get a say in the matter.) So, we do the exercises on his little list, which takes around 20 minutes, (The only good thing about CF is that its quick so that the misery doesn't last too long.) and he says that we should go out and do a short run. I'm thinking, oh maybe, 3 miles, which to me isn't too bad of a run, so I won't mind too much. Wrong!!! At about mile 4, I'm wondering, "Just where in the hell are we going?" I look around and realized we were on the other side of the base. The run ended up being 8 miles! Short run my ass. Needless to say, I was beat at the end of it, I still am. But, I'll live. (I think.)

Well, that's enough about this morning. (For now, at least.) Now on to something else. Me and bizkit were talking about this past weekend today. More about our friend and her ex problem. We kind of disagree that she is showing intrest in the person that I thought that she was. He thinks its someone different than I do. But we both agree that this person isn't really interested in her as more than a friend. He's one of those people that is extremely outgoing and friends with everyone. She may be seeing that as more than it really is. I don't know, its kind of hard sometimes to figure out what any woman is thinking (Yeah right, hard, as if any man could ever come close to figuring out that one.) let alone one with a cultural background different from mine. We also agree that she really should finnaly get over this guy. And again, enough of this subject for now.

When me and Kiwi went to the movies, I mentioned that I like to cook. (Mexican food mostly, California upbringing and all.) And we decided that I would cook a Mexican dinner sometime in the future. Well, bizkit heard about this and well, lets just say that it'll sooner than I thought it would. Which is ok, especially since it'll be at his place, (Kind of hard to cook anything in the barracks without the vultures smelling it and coming to investigate.) and if I cook, I won't have to clean up. I love to cook, its fun, but, I hate to clean up afterwards. Also, its hard, for me, to make meals for just one person. Its just not as enjoyable. (Here I am rambling, but this is my blog, and I can do that.) Its the same thing when it comes to eating, going to a movie, stuff like that. These are all things that are better to do with a friend. I don't know why, but Kiwi has a theory. Basically she says its from back when we still lived in caves and such. (She's actually studied the rituals behind the things we do when we enjoy a meal. Really, it was a very interesting conversation dispite how it sounds.) We (people as a whole) used to congragate and do all of these things together (No, not the movies, way to early for that.) and it became a kind of racial memory passed on through time. It makes sense to me, so I agree with it.

Anyway, I think that I've ramble on long enough. I'll see ya'll later.

A Good Night

Well, last night I didn't plan on going out. I just wanted to go to the movie with Kiwi, and maybe some dinner, then go home. As you can guess, that didn't happen.
First, I misjudged how long it would take to get to the movie theater where we were meeting, but, I wasn't late. I was a half hour early. No problem, there are prenty of pretty women here to look at. I was able to keep myself occupied. Anyway, Kiwi showed up shortly there after, and we decided to see the new Zorro movie. Well, we had about an hour and a half before the movie started, and decided to go get some food. We went to this place just down the street from the theater to get some duck galbi, very good stuff. And there was a lot of it. I mean A LOT. I don't know if you've ever had Korean food, but I highly recommend it, especially the spicey stuff. Anyway, we end up eating all of this. And we were so stuffed we needed to wait for a few minutes before moving out. We still have a little bit of time, so we go walking around and run into bizkit and the Brit. That Absynth must be some pretty strong stuff, he was still feeling the affects, at 3:30 in the afternoon. Then, we go to see the movie.
Let me tell you right now, we both found the movie boring. The first one was much better. It also might have something to do with how hot it was there. THEY HAD THE HEATER ON! It was in the 70s yesterday, there was no need for it. Wait for it to come out on DVD, you'll be better off for it.
After the movie, we met up with the other 2 and they wanted to eat. Me and Kiwi were still full and just watched them. We went to our favorite bar and proceded to drink and have a good time. Ended up meeting with a lot of the guys I work with and a little later, the Okie and Fred show up. And a good time was had by all.
I went home early so I could get some sleep. So that was pretty much the extent of my day.

You know, I've noticed that, even though I have only been doing this for 2 days, I haven't used this space to rant on anything. I think that its time to change that. And I have a great target, and yes, I do mean target. One of the friends that I have been hanging out with really needs to get some self confidence. She was going out with this guy, I think it was for a few weeks. I know him, but not real well. He has to go away for a little while because of his job. Of course she's a little upset and depressed. Anyway, he's gone for a week, I think, when he decides to break it off. Which is good, I think, she's a good looking girl ;). Anyway, the same night that I find out this, she finds out that he's actually married! Uh-oh!!! She gets understandedly pissed off and decides that if she ever sees him again, well let's just say, he would be better off if he never saw her again. So, I, being a good friend, sit with her and proceed to help her get rip roaring drunk (getting the same way myself in the process). We talked for a while, and she decides that he's not worth it. Cool, sounds like a good decision to me. Well, I see her the next weekend, and she's been talking to him, and wants him back. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!! I try to talk her out of it, all of her other friends try to do the same. And again, by the end of the weekend, she doesn't want anything to do with him. Needless to say, she keeps flipping back and forth on him. WAKE UP WOMAN! Get over him. I know, I know, easier said than done sometimes. (Believe me, that one little lesson I do know.) Fast forward to this weekend. She says that she's done with him (heard that one before), and that she doesn't want to see him again. It even appeares that she's taking an interest in another one of our mutal friends. (Which is good too, he just recently got dumped by his fiancee. Bitch couldn't even give him a chance. This is a rant for another time, I promise.) But last night, everytime she mentioned her ex, she still called him "her boyfriend". As in current. WTF!!!! Girl, get over it. You are a good looking woman, and you can actually carry on an intelligent conversation without getting all glassey eyed and bored. You just need to think better about yourself. You put on a pretty good act, but that's all it is, an act. You do have friends to help you get through all of this, use us. Actually take the time to listen to our advice once in a while. We want to help.

Anyway, that's enough of that, and I'll keep you up to date on the latest developments of this gripping saga. Later ya'll.