A Different Christmas Poem

I know that I said I wasn’t going to post until after the New Year, but when I saw this, I had to before I forgot about it. And I couldn’t let myself do that. Please, take a moment to read this and think about it. Take care all.


A Different Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts...
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother...
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.



LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN
30th Naval Construction Regiment OIC,
Logistics Cell One
Al Taqqadum, Iraq


I’ll see ya’ll later.

Until Next Year.

   Well, this is my last entry, until after the New Year.  On Monday, I get to travel for 26 1/2 hours to go back to TN and see my kids for Christmas.  And even after traveling for over a full day, you know what, it'll still be the same day when I land.  Talk about jet lag.  I'm going to be just a little fried when I get there.  Then, a few days later, I pack up the kids for a 12 hour drive to visit my Mom in Virginia Beach.  Spend a few days there with my kids, Mom, sister and brother, and then pack them up for the return trip to their house.  After that, there are numerous friends to see, one I haven't seen since HS.  Then, when comes time to come back, I have to leave an extra day early because I'll lose a day enroute.  Spend the night up in Seoul because I get in too late to catch the last plane back to Daegu.  In the morning I get to catch a high speed train back down here.  I think that I'm going to need a vacation from my vacation.  At least back at work I'll be able to get some rest.  

   Sounds like a lot to put up with just to be home for a total of 15 days.  And, if it wasn't for my kids, it would be too much trouble.  But getting to spend a little bit of time with them makes it worth all of the trouble.  Not that I'm saying getting to see my kids is trouble.  (But, I'm sure they'll cause enough of that once I'm there.)  It’s the traveling part that is.  And I realize just how lucky I am to be able to see them at this time of the year.  Especially when so many others in the military will have to make due with letters and emails.  Maybe a 10 minute phone call, if they're lucky.  

   I don't know if people that have never been in the military really understand what we give up when we join.  Especially now, in a time of war.  I'm not going to get into whether the wars are right, or wrong.  As a soldier, that's not my place.  I don't remember where I heard this, but it is true.  "As a soldier, I have the luxury of being apolitical in public."  Sure, I do have my own views on it, but only my friends and family have the honor of knowing where I stand politically.  Anyway, back to where I was headed before I got detoured.  (Maybe I should ask for directions next time……Nah, I'll just trudge on.)  

   Sure, the general public knows that we give up time with our families.  That we endure the hardships of remote locations and extreme environments.  Face the danger of becoming a casualty.  Even that we give up some of our freedoms.  But, I don't know if they understand what all of that really means to us.  We do these things willingly, every one of us is a volunteer.  Some of us multiple times.  Why do we do it?  I can't speak for everyone in the military, or even a small percentage, all I can speak for, truthfully, is myself.  (But, I'm fairly certain that most service members will be along these lines.)  

   The reason I do it, and have continued doing it for the past 17 years, and 3 wars, is because I love my country and believe in our God given rights enough to lay my life on the line to protect them for you.  But that is not the only reason.  The one that matters more to me is the people that I serve with.  These are the guys that'll take care of me if something happens.  The ones that'll look after me when I'm too drunk to know what I'm doing.  They're also the people that I can turn to for help.  We will take care of our own.

   A lot of civilians think that its ok to protest our efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan all while saying that they support us.  To me it just seems that you can't do both at the same time.  How can you support us while you don't support the work we are accomplishing?  That's like saying, I want you to do this, but I won't help you in do it.  It makes us feel as if we're not doing what is right.  But, we know that we are doing the right thing.  I don't know if that made sense to you, but imagine how we feel about it.  We were attacked, and had to strike back, no one denies the truth to that.  So, we went to Afghanistan and did what we had to do.  And now, we're trying to give them a better life, and succeeding!  As for Iraq, we acted on what our intelligence reports indicated, inaccurate, or not.  (I have to admit that I wanted this war to happen.  I wanted to finish the job I started in Desert Shield/Desert Storm.  I felt personally let down that we stopped early back in '91.)  And now, we are trying to help them rebuild their country.  Its only right that we do.  (And we're the only country in history that makes it a point to help reconstruct the countries of our defeated enemies.)  But what does the American public see?  They see what the media wants them to.  They don't get to see all the good things we are doing there, or if they do, it is very rarely.  They see the things that make headlines.  And what makes the headlines?  4 American Soldiers Killed by IED.  Iraqi Parliamentary Candidate Runs for Life From Angry Crowd.  These things catch your attention better than most of the other things that we are doing there.  U.S. Forces Rebuild 3 Schools in Baghdad.  Last Bridge Over Euphrates Restored.  And as a result, the American public's idea of what is happening is skewed.  And this leads to the "I support you, but not the war" mentality.  But that's ok.  We know we are doing the right thing.  If we didn't, why would service members be reenlisting in record numbers?

   And, just remember, the next time you want to go out and protest against the war, its ok.  After all, I am putting my life on the line for you to do so.  And I do it willingly.  Also, how can you not support the work I do?  My job, my oath, is to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States of America.  Do you really want to critisize me for doing that?  Don't put me down for it.  Don't disrespect me because I make sure you can say what you feel you need to.

   But, I'll tell you what.  If you see me out on the street, come on over and feel free to discuss the war with me.  I may even buy the first round.  And I bet any Soldier would do the same, that's part of our job to.

   I'll see ya'll later.  (But not before the New Year.)  Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  

Learned Behavior?

I was surprised today when I found out about Australia having race riots. I always thought that they were better about getting along with each other than us Americans were. Granted, we definitely have our race relation problems, but for the most part we're pretty good about it. But, Australia? You never hear about any problems there. At least not racially motivated ones. Or, (More likely) Americans just don't care to hear about it. And the media complies. After all, if no one wants to know, then it won't help them make money. And the media is a business after all is said and done.

Is it in our nature to be less accepting of someone that's different from ourselves? Or is it something that we're taught as we grow up?

Or is it a combination of both? Babies don't differentiate between different races with each other. But, when they see adults that are different from their parents, they usually react in one of two ways. They either are very curious, or are afraid of them. They maintain this up till somewhere around two, or so.

(No, I'm not an expert on this, nor do I have any research to back up what I'm saying here. I'm just going off of my own observations as a father of three, and experience with the children of friends of mine.)

Which I find curious, at the same time they start really learning behavior from us, they also start trying to exert their independence from us. During their early childhood, kids' friends start becoming more and more like themselves in attitude and beliefs. Also, they start becoming more like us, the parents. And we all believe we are raising them correctly. No matter what anyone else says to us. (Starting to diverge here. Back on topic.) They see how we treat others, and start doing the same.

By the time they get to Jr. High School, (Or Middle School, if you prefer.) they are pretty much locked in for the rest of their lives. And everything they see, from that point on, only serves to further cement their beliefs, right or wrong.

Then, later in life, someone from a hated group does something wrong. And soon enough, all people of that race are suspected of only being able to do the same thing. The suspicion builds, reaches the breaking point, and you get riots like happened in Paris and Sydney.

Its only natural to want to have people like yourself around you. You feel more comfortable, and generally will share the same interests. The problems arise from when its taken to the extreme, and any difference is seen as a threat.

I have said before that I was raised to be prejudiced, and that is true. I also said that I no longer held those beliefs. That part is not entirely true. I find that if I don't constantly pay attention, I tend to slip into old habits. It usually doesn't come out, but is there none the less. And I don't like thinking that way. Like I said, you can't help the way you were raised. But you can help the way you raise your own children. And I truly hope that I have done right by my kids. I believe that I did, but don't we all.

Now, I have one final prejudice to overcome, but I don't know if I really want to. And this one I whole heartedly believe is 100% genetic. I have to try not to be prejudiced against the boys my daughters bring home. Will that happen? Not if I have anything to say about it. :) But, all fathers are the same.
I'll see ya'll later.

What?

   I took a look at the name and birthdate "test" the Bizkit put up on his site.  Now, I don't usually put much credence into stuff like that.  You know, horoscopes, astrology and the like, but sometimes, what they say can be pretty weird.  I mean, I don't think that our personalities are preordained just by when we are born, or the meaning of the name we are given.  I feel that the person we become is determined by how we are raised and life experience.

   However, as I did this little test thing, and read the results, I was surprised by how accurately it did describe my personality.  Which put some of my long held beliefs to the test.  Of course there were some points that were wrong, but isn't every rule verified by its exceptions?  

   Let me give a couple examples from what this thing said about me.  With my birthday, it lists several categories, but most of them are just statistics.  How many days/weeks/hours, etc., its been since you were born.  Birth/death rate for that year.  Stuff like that.  But the one that caught my attention (and the whole reason I started writing about this.) was Life Path Number.  This is based in Numerology, (I don't claim to have any knowledge about it.  But I may start researching.) and is supposed to represent who you are at birth and the traits you will carry throughout your life.

   My Life Path Number is 3.  And the traits for a "3" are as follows:  (You don't have to read through this, its just here for reference.  You can jump down to the bottom, if you want.)

The number 3 Life Path is one that emphasizes expression, sociability, and creativity as the lesson to be learned in this life. Here we are apt to find the entertainers of the world, bright, effervescent, sparkling people with very optimistic attitudes. A truly gifted 3 possesses the most exceptional creative skills, normally in the verbal realm, writing, speaking, acting, or similar endeavors. The lesson to be learned with a 3 life path is that of achievement through expression. The bright side of this path stresses harmony, beauty and pleasures; of sharing your creative talents with the world. Capturing your capability in creative self-expression is the highest level of attainment for this life path. The characteristics of the 3 are warmth and friendliness, a good conversationalist, social and open. A good conversationalist both from the standpoint of being a delight to listen to, but even more importantly, one who has the ability to listen to others. Accordingly, the life path 3 produces individuals who are always a welcome addition to any social situation and know how to make others feel at home. The creative imagination is present, if sometimes latent, as the 3 may not be moved to develop his talent. The approach to life tends to be exceedingly positive, however, and your disposition is almost surely sunny and open-hearted. You effectively cope with all of the many setbacks that occur in life and readily bounce back for more. It is usually easy for you to deal with problems because you can freely admit the existence of problems without letting them get you down. You have good manners and seem to be very conscious of other people's feelings and emotions. Life is generally lived to the fullest, often without much worry about tomorrow. You are not very good at handling money because of a general lack of concern about it. You spend it when you have it and don't when you don't.
On the negative side, a 3 may be so delighted with the joy of living that the life becomes frivolous and superficial. You may scatter your abilities and express little sense of purpose. The 3 can be an enigma, for no apparent reason you may become moody and tend to retreat. Escapist tendencies are not uncommon with the 3 life path, and you find it very hard to settle into one place or one position. Guard against being critical of others, impatient, intolerant, or overly optimistic.
Typically, the life path 3 gives an above-average ability in some art form. This can encompass painting, interior decorating, landscaping, crafts, writing, music, or the stage, or all of the above. You are apt to be a happy, inspired person, constantly seeking the stimuli of similar people. Your exuberant nature can take you far, especially if you are ever able to focus your energies and talents.
   It says that, basically, I'm a very social person.  Which is true.  I like to be around other people, and truly enjoy meeting new people.  And I've never had a problem with making friends, even if I go somewhere I don't know anybody.  It also says that I am a good conversationalist, both in speaking and listening.  I don't know too much about the speaking part, but I think that I am a good listener.  (I must be because for some reason most people I meet tend to want to tell me their life's story, or all of their problems.)  My attitude on life is just how it is explained above, too.  (Even the money part, unfortunately.)  But, where I have to disagree with the first paragraph is in the artistic expression part.  Yes, I do like to paint, (Not pictures, or anything so ambitious.  I paint miniatures.  Different subject there.) but I don't believe that I'm all that good.  And, really don't like to show my work off.  I guess I'm not a truly talented "3".

   The second paragraph isn't me at all.  With the exception of finding it hard to stay in one place, or position long.  (Which may explain why I have been in the Army for so long.  I get to move around a lot.  Which I do like, usually.)  I don't take life too seriously, but I don't blow it off either.  And, when I start a project, I tend to focus on its completion.  Often to the exclusion to almost all else.  And, I am rarely critical of others, almost never impatient, or intolerant.  But, I do tend to be extremely optimistic.  (Life's too short to be otherwise.)

   The third paragraph, I just don't really understand too much.  I don't have an above average ability in any art form.  That's my brother (in music), and my sister (in painting).  Unless you consider having a talent for fixing mechanical objects an art form.  (And some might.)
   Most of what is said about my personality in this is stuff that I don't believe can be much affected by how you were raised.  A talent for an art form can't be learned, you either have it, or you don't.  (You can teach someone without talent to produce art, but it will not be as intuitive for others to interpret.)  I don't have a talent for painting, though I do enjoy the time I spend doing it.  Being a good with other people is a little harder to define.  I am good with people.  I don't know why, I say what is on my mind.  I'm brutally honest at times.  Most people don't like that.  But, I have never had a problem because of it.  (Except the one time I told my Battalion Commander that I thought he was an idiot, and then continued to explain why.  But, hey, he asked what I thought, and I asked if he was sure he wanted me to answer.  Not my fault he said yes.)  
   I just noticed that I was originally trying to prove that my point of view (Nurture over Nature) is the correct one.  And here I am, unable to prove that I am correct.  I hate when that happens.  But, my views still haven't changed.  Although I do have to admit, I now have some more food for thought on the subject.  Well, time to do some research about this stuff.
I'll See ya'll later.

Rambling (Part II)

   Well, I really don't have a topic for today.  So, I think that I'll just ramble for a little bit, and see what comes out.

   I guess that I should start out with how the weekend went.  Friday night I met up with Biz and we went down to our usual place.  He wore his fangs.  Which Momma really doesn't like.  She kept telling him to take them out through out the night.  Friday was also Okie's b-day.  And it looked like she had a real good time.  She was really plastered.  Luckily for her, Fred was there to help her get home.  I don't think that she would have made it otherwise.  (She fell down the stairs on the way out.  And Biz wanted to get a picture, but wasn't quite fast enough on the draw.)  A bunch of the guys that I work with were there.  And I mean, A BUNCH.  That place had entirely too many guys in it on Friday, and not enough women.  A couple of times, guys got into some pretty heated conversations over that fact too.  The main people that I hung out with that night were Kiwi, her boyfriend (LJ), Kiwi II, the Brit and, of course, Bizkit.  LJ had a party earlier in the day because he just recently got promoted, and the group of guys that I work with and came in that night, had been at it for quite a little bit.  So, needless to say, they were already feeling good before they came in.  And soon, they started falling by the wayside, one by one.  (If I remember right, only 3 made it through the night.)

   A Canadian friend of mine showed up, and we started bullshitting.  (This guy looks like he's about 16 years old.)  Anyway, the topic of conversation got around to women.  (Of course)  And I find out that this guy is intimidated by all of the G.I.s in the place.  So much so, that he won't try for Kiwi II, like he wants to.  I tell him not to worry about that.  I'll make sure that no one fights with him over it.  But, he still needs a little bit of convincing.  I think that I'll get him there.  We'll see.

   Much later in the evening, (Early morning, actually) Biz and the Brit take off.  And a little bit after that, The main group of guys I work with bail.  (Of course, they had to police up several passed out members.  Sometimes youngins just don't know when to slow down and take it easy.)  Kiwi II was going to go with them, but she wasn't ready to go home, yet.  I told her that she was more than welcome to stay with me, and we could share a cab on the way back

.  She agreed, and joined in the conversation that I was having with this English (I hesitate to say it.) gentleman.  If you read Biz's posts, you may remember him mentioning this guy.  This is the guy that started the fight a few weeks back.  Anyway, I didn't recognize him at first, till he mentioned the fight about 20 minutes, or so, in.  Well, I got a little tense, but, there was no need to.  He just wanted to know if I'ld tell Bizkit that he wanted to buy him a drink, and put all of this behind them.  (From what I hear from other people that are friends of this guy, he's not to well liked after that little incident.  And is even more afraid of the Biz now, than before.  He didn't even want to come to the bar, because he was afraid of what might happen if he did.)  Well, I told him that I would talk to Biz, and see what happens.  I have to give it to this guy, he wants to put it behind them both.  And to come up to a guy (me) that forced him, and another guy, down from a fight, (They were both afraid of me for some reason.  Hell, they're both twice my size.  And I don't think that I look all that intimidating.  No comments on that, Biz.) and then ask him for help in fixing everything took a little bit of nerve.  For all he knew, as soon as I remembered who he was, I would have wanted his head right then and there.  

   Oh, before that, (See, I'm rambling.) my Canadian friend introduced my to a couple of friends of his, a girl from Mississippi (Miss), and another one from Manchester, England (Brit II, I know, real original).  They were both pretty nice people.  Especially Miss.  For some reason, I really don't know what, she really was able to hold my attention.  (Not a bad thing.)  She wasn't great looking, she wasn't anywhere near bad looking, either.  But, she had a strong personality, and a lot of self confidence.  I hope to see her again sometime.  

   Anyway, back to what I was talking about before I interrupted myself.  Me and this guy talked for a couple of hours, and didn't have any problems.  Even though people kept coming up and asking if there were.  And they were keeping an eye on the situation.  At this point, I was getting tired, and so was Kiwi II, so, we decided to call it a night.  (Night, right, it was 6 in the morning.)  We go get a cab, I drop her at her place, and continue on my merry way home.  (Sometimes, I hate being a nice guy.  But, don't tell anyone.)  And that was it for Friday night/Saturday morning.

   Saturday night, I met up with Biz and the Brit, and we head out for dinner.  None of us could decide on what we wanted to eat.  (Sometimes it’s a little bit hard to, when one of the group is a vegetarian.  Oh, I think I have an idea for a future topic.)  So, we ended up at McDonalds.  Not original, but I was hungry now, and I didn't feel like waiting much longer to eat. After that, we went to the bar.  And, I just wasn't getting into it that night.  To me, it was pretty boring.  A bunch of G.I.s were there getting drunk.  (I can't stand being around drunk G.I.s.  They just get too stupid and arrogant for their own good.)  The usual suspects were there, of course.  And usually, we have a great time just talking and drinking.  So, I decided to stick it out for a while and see if things pick up.  Nope.  Well, business at the place did, but not anything that stopped my boredom.  The Brit was feeling a little bit of it too.  So, we decided to call it a night fairly early, for us at least.  I walked her to a cab, and then got my own, and went home.  Compared to Friday night, Saturday blew.  But, that happens once in a while.

   Well, I think that I've rambled along enough today to make this painful for just about anyone to read.  Hopefully, I'll have something better for tomorrow.

   I'll see ya'll later.

Faith

   Religion.  Faith.  God.  What do you believe?  Or, do you believe?  Should we believe?  I mean, look how many wars have been fought over religions clashing over their differences throughout history.  The Crusades are just the most well known to those of European descent.  (Like me.)  And they still happen today.  Look at the conflicts in the Middle East.  Israel and the Palestinians, the United States and and al Queda and Iraqi insurgents.  You're probably saying, "I can see where the problems in Israel are religious based, but Afghanistan and Iraq?"  Well, they are, not from the U.S.'s point of view.  But from the people fighting us.  They have used their religion as a tool to get recruits to help them regain power.  (This is only my view on things.  I'm sure others will disagree with me.)  I don't know if the ones in charge actively practice their religion, or not.  Nor do I care.

   Just about every religion that I know of, (I have been exposed to a few.) teaches tolerance and helping others.  As far as I know, there aren't any that tell their followers to go out and kill in the name of the faith.  (Granted, all of my views are slanted towards Christianity, but I can't help how I was raised.)  Its people that want some kind of power over others that twist their faith into getting that power.  I'm not just talking about Islam here, though, that may be the first one that comes to mind to most westerners.  (Again, its all in how we are raised.)  But Christianity has been (is) just as bad about this.  We (Christians) have done things in the name of bringing the "heathens" to the light that frankly were (are) wrong.  But so have other religions.  

   I'm going to stop talking about that kind of stuff here for a little bit, but kind of stay on the same topic.  I'm going to let you know why I brought this up.  Yes, I was raised as a Christian.  And the way my family, well, my Dad, raised was very different from the person I am now.  I was raised to be prejudiced against other races, nationalities and religions.  (I was raised as a Lutheran.)  I would like to think that I have gotten beyond that, but sometimes, it still comes out.  But, what I'm going to say here is the way I really think on this subject.  (I know, this is way to serious a subject for a Friday.)  There is only ONE God.  But, that being said, I truly believe that there is no "wrong" religion, or way of worship.  This may sound egotistical of myself, and my beliefs, (Again, I was raised a Christian.  So my views go that way.) but, to me, everyone worships the same God.  The differences in religions are culturally based, not that there are different "Gods".

   Let me explain.  Now there are some religions that acknowledge that the God they have faith in, is the same that others do.  Judaism, Islam, Catholicism, Mormons and the different Christian faiths, all acknowledge that the higher power is the same one.  The differences are in the details of how they express that faith.  I feel that the same is true for the non-Christian/Islamic religions.  But, because of their radically different (From a Western point of view.) cultures, they adapted their beliefs to the way they perceive the world.

   I'm going to give you an example from my life to illustrate my point.  When I got married, it was to a Roman Catholic.  I'm of the Nazarene faith.  The Catholic church never recognized the marriage.  Why?  Because I was not (Still not) a part of the church.  And in there eyes, that is wrong.  I asked the Father that did the first ,and only, counseling session I went to, "Why won't the church recognize the marriage?  We believe in the same God."  He told me, and I quote, "Your belief in God isn't in question.  It’s the way you practice that faith."  I was in complete shock.  How could this man tell me I was wrong about this?!  And, of course I felt a little insulted, and asked him, "How do you know that the way you worship is correct?  Out of all of the religions in the world, why is yours the only right one?"  He looked at me for a minute, and said, "My faith tells me it is the right way."  At the time, I didn't have anything to say.  But thinking back on it, isn't that true for all of us?  It all comes down to your faith in whatever religion you practice that lets you know you are right.
   Everyone believes in something, even if you believe there isn't a God.  There is no right or wrong way to worship him.  The Bible never mentions any organized religion.  But, humans, being social creatures, and wanting to be around those that think the same way as they do, created them for themselves.  God doesn't care how we worship, (There are some guidelines.  Don't kill, help others in need, that sort of thing.  All religions have pretty much the same ones, too.) but that we believe in him, and are not ashamed to profess our beliefs.  And by "profess our beliefs", I mean be willing to share them with others, not beat them over the head with them.  

   On a slightly different note, America is a nation that believes in allowing all religions.  (At least, that right is protected by law.  But in practice, intolerant individuals, want to restrict that right in their little spheres of influence.)  I honestly don't know if we are the only country that allows this.  But we take our separation of church and state a little too far.  We're no longer allowed to call Christmas parties, Christmas parties because that might offend someone of a different religion.  Its now "the Holiday Season."  I'm sorry, but did I miss something here?  I've always been told that my rights stop where they intrude on someone else's.  OK.  I get that.  But isn't the reverse also true?  Just because someone gets offended by my calling this the Christmas Season, should I be obliged to change it?  I don't think so.  I'm not offended when someone tells me "Happy Kwanzaa!"  (I hope that I spelled that right.)  So, why should it be an issue when I say "Merry Christmas!"  We are becoming The United States of the Offended.  And I truly believe that we will be hurt, as a nation, if we allow it to continue.  America's strength is her diversity, but by deigning some of that diversity in the name of not offending anyone, we will erode that strength.

   I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and season's greetings.  May everyone enjoy this time of year with your families, friends, or whoever you may be with.  Take the time to thank them, and let them know they are an important part of your life, no matter the little differences.

   I'll see ya'll soon.

I don't know where this came from, so don't ask.

Biz, respect your elders! That was just a low blow. I may be older, but you act like you are. Ha! Besides, you're only as old as you feel. And old is always twice your age. Its true that out of the group of people we hang out with on the weekends, I am the oldest one. But, he is next in line for that title.

I am 35, sometime in the next few months, 36. And I've been in the Army for 17 years. Wow, 17 years. That's a long time for anybody to do the same job. I never used to understand why my Platoon Sergeants would complain about "the kids" coming into the Army. But, in the past few years, I've begun to have an idea. When I was first in the Army, to me, I was a full fledged adult. A kid no longer. As I came up in the ranks, and got a little bit of experience under my belt, I've noticed that they were right. The people coming into the Army are just kids. (For the most part, they are. Some are older than the typical 18.) They really don't know how to function without their parents around to look after them. For them, life becomes a big party when they don't have to work. And we (I'm talking about NCOs (Non-Commissioned Officers) here.) end up taking on the role of a parent with them. We look out for them, praise them when they succeed and punish them when they screw up. I take my role in their lives very seriously. After all, they are the ultimate measure of whether I succeed, or fail, in my duties.

I have been an NCO for 12 years, and I've had the pleasure of leading some great soldiers in that time. Some who have passed me up the chain. (And those are also the ones that love to tell the stories about when they used to work for me.) I have also had some serious dirt bags in there, too. These are the guys that either act stupid (cause they want out of the Army) or really are too stupid for the Army. They way I see it, for the ones that just want out, just do your job to the best of your ability and fulfill your obligation, and then get out. But, never give less than your all. For the ones that truly too stupid, if they're well meaning, and hard workers, you can always find a niche for them. But, if they are a danger to themselves, or others, give them the boot as fast as you can. Its better for all involved.

When I received my most recent promotion, of course I was ecstatic about it. I had been trying for it for the past 4 years. But then I got the rest of the story. My Platoon Sergeant was taking my squad away from me. Granted, I was coming to this job in a few months, but I thought, "How can he do this to me?" So I asked him. He told me that I got promoted out of a job, there was no more room for me in the platoon. I was to be a floater for the rest of my time there. I was devastated. I had never been in a position where I didn't have troops to care for. So, I kind of just drifted 'til I got here.

But, I don't have any troops to lead here. The entirety of my shop consists of me and Bizkit. And he's a civilian. However, this job has been good for me. I don't have to worry about someone else, and I can relax. Note, I said that I didn't have to, but there are still soldiers that I have taken under my wing, so to speak. My position has given me greater freedom in how I can teach them. (Or corrupt, if you ask my Platoon Sergeant. He doesn't like the fact that I'm friends with most of his soldiers.)

Well that's enough of that. And I think that I should get down from this soapbox, before I fall and break a hip. I want to leave ya'll with a funny picture. Its of Kiwi on the night of the Brit's birthday. Some of the guys there were running around with a non-permanent marker, and for some reason (Whatever it was is beyond me.) she let one of them draw a mouse's nose and whiskers on her face. Then, to top it off, she posed for pictures. Don't know why, but here it is.


I'll see ya'll later.

Chaos

I was reading Bizkit's daily entry, and it got me to thinking. We have different views on how to live life. Not that you should live it to the fullest, we both agree on that. But, its in the smaller details that we disagree. He said that life's obstacles cause chaos, and only by working together can they be overcome. That's where I disagree.

Life itself is chaos. Most people try to put their entire life into order, and are miserable for it. Because, you just can't do it. No matter how hard you try. Just about everything that we do is by its very nature chaotic. "No plan survives contact with the enemy." Sound familiar? Its true. I don't know who was quoted as saying that. And I don't think that it only relates to combat, but life as a whole. You make your plan to do whatever you're trying to do, and what happens? Something invariably enters the picture to cause a problem. And you make a change, on the fly, to compensate. There you have it, chaos has entered the picture. And you did it yourself.

I thrive on chaos. It gives me the energy to do things beyond what I would believe I could do. It allows me to function in an environment where, I can pull all of these disparate pieces together and make a whole out of them. I don't know if this is because I don't tend to think in a logical manner, (unlike most people) or if its because I just have some kind of gift for it. (doubtful) When things are very orderly, I get bored with it quickly. But, when I don't know exactly what to expect, I stay interested. (Maybe my head isn't screwed on quite right.) Whatever the reason, chaotic environments are where I like to be.

But on the flip side to my previous quote, there is "Its better to have a plan, any plan, than no plan at all." Which, is also true. Sounds like I'm contradicting myself here, but hang with me. Having a plan lets you set up your reactions to what may happen. So you can have a general course of action. With out one, its like trying to go down an alley in the middle of the night, blindfolded and with earplugs in. Sure you can do it, but there will be a lot of stumbling along the way. A plan can only prepare you part of the way. The rest is comes from your own experiences and general outlook on life. There's nothing more that I can say about that.

The other part that we disagree on is that he believes you have to work together with the other people in you life to overcome obstacles. I don't think so. I believe that you have to be able to overcome the obstacles on your own. If you can't, then you never will. Other people are (Man, this is going to sound bad.) tools to help along the way. Noone can solve any of your problems for you. But, they can point you in the right direction.

That being said, nobody can live completely shut off from those around them. We need others to survive. We need the social interaction, the friction and the conflict. We are social creatures, we have to have others for what they bring. And what they bring us is simple. They bring us CHAOS.

Respect

   Last night I got a call from the Brit, and the first thing that she said was, "I'm sorry."  I guess that she read Bizkit's blog and felt bad about what he wrote.  And like I said yesterday, I owe it to the friendship to hear her out.  So we talked about it.  She told me that she didn't remember what happened Friday night because she was too drunk.  And I accept that.  After all, I was quite pickled myself.  However, I won't accept that as a reason again.  Once, ok, but after you become aware of something, you shouldn't let it happen again.  So, we shall see this weekend.

   But what does this all boil down to?  If you ask me, its about trust.  After all, we don't make friends with people that we don't trust, in some form or another.  Every person that I count among my friends, I trust.  Some more than others, but still trust.  (Wow, using that word a lot here.)  The people that I really don't trust, I consider either acquaintances, or co-workers.  That's just how things work out for me.

   But then, the question becomes, "How far should you trust someone?"  I don't have a clue on how to answer that.  Everyone is different, and so is every situation.  All I can say is to do whatever you feel comfortable with.  I have friends that I trust so much, that I know if I drink entirely too much, they'll make sure I get home without anything happening to me.  Then there are a few I know if the same thing happened, would definitely take advantage of it.  (shudders)  Both groups are my friends, I just watch what I do more carefully around one than the other.

   Well, to change gears a little bit here.  Most of my friends here are surprised by the way I talk.  No, not my accent (Not that I have one.  Just ask me, I'll tell you.) or the words I use, but by the simple fact that I don't lie to people.  I tell people straight out what I think.  And if you ask me question on something, you better really want to know my answer.  Most people assume its because I'm arrogant and don't care how what I say affects others.  That's not it.  Its because I believe that everyone deserves enough respect to hear the truth from me.  Everyone.  That's why I got so pissed off when I believed I was being disrespected by a friend.  Strangers I can take, not friends.  Besides, you wouldn't believe how hard it is to get someone to believe the truth sometimes.  Now, there are times where lieing would be the better course of action.  Like when you don't what to hurt a friend's feelings, or sound insulting.  Sometimes its hard to do.  But I really believe that it is always for the better.  As an example, me and Kiwi (I, not II) were talking one day, and she said that sometimes the things I say turns her stomach.  Of course, I was a little confused so I asked her to explain what she said.  She told me it was because she new that everything I said was exactly how I felt about something.  So when I tell her something good, like complement her on how she looks or how I hope that things work out with her and her boyfriend, she knows that I'm not just saying what I think she wants to hear.  (long sentence there)  But, by the same token, I have said things that have upset her, which is where the turning of her stomach comes in.

   I also believe in always keeping my word once I've given it.  And, unless something prevents me from being able to do that, I will.  So, as a result, I don't say I'll do (or not do, as the case may be) something very lightly.  I have friends that have picked up on this very quickly, and have used it.  But that is neither here, nor there.  And I expect the same thing in return.  If you tell me that you're going to do something, you had better do it.

So, what this great circular route comes down to is respect.  If you give respect to other people, you'll get in return.  I have been all over the world.  And in every country I've been stationed in, the G.I.s are both liked (for the money we bring) and hated.  Or, I should say tolerated, not hated.  We're tolerated because most of us are rude and disrespectful of people in other countries.  That is where most of the problems come in, especially when drinking is involved, and why I don't like to hang out with G.I.s.  I have never had any problems with locals anywhere I've been, even ones that dislike foriegners, i.e. American G.I.s.  Why?  Because I treat evryone with respect, unless they show they deserve otherwise.  And in return, I am respected, maybe not as an American, or a soldier, but at least as an individual.  After all, everything has to start somewhere.

   I'll see ya'll later.

Oh, my head!!!!!

Well, I had an interesting weekend. Well, not really, but it wasn't a normal one. Friday started out ok. Me and Biz went to go meet up with a friend of ours (the Brit) at her place and go from there to help her celebrate her birthday. (Which is today.) We drank a couple of beers and polished off a bottle of wine. Everyone was in a good mood. We head out to the bar to meet up with some other friends, and commence to having a good time. Of course there was quite a bit of drinking going on. (As a matter of fact, one of our friends, the Cuban, passed out and had to be carried out of the bar, but this is later in the night.) Everyone is having a good time. Well, later people start asking me where the Brit is, I didn't know and couldn't find her. So, I start to get a little worried about her. I remember her saying something about going to the Bubble (a real dive and hole in the wall. But popular with G.I.s and Korean women that like them.) before we left her place. I grab up Biz and head down there to see if she's there. Guess what she is. Well, we stay there a little while, Biz has to leave cause its just too crowded for him, and I am there just getting more an more angry at seeing the way she treats people she claims are friends, including me. So, I leave and head back to the Crew. A little later, she comes back and sees me and asks what I'm angry about. I tell her its her, and try to explain why.

(Ok, a little explaination is in order here. The way I was raised, if you go out with friends someplace and are going to leave, you at least let them know so that noone will worry about what happened when they can't find you. Its just a common courtisy and respectful of your friends. Not doing it is disrespectful, at least to me. And one thing that pisses me off faster than anything is being disrespected. But, I will always try to talk to the person to see if it was intentional or not. Accidents do happen.)

She gets angry at me when I try to explain. Hey, I don't want to lose a friend, and I consider her a friend. So I walk away, still angry. Anyway, it gets later and everyone leaves. I try to say goodnight to her, and get completely ignored! That sets my blood boiling again. (People that know me know that I'm a very hard person to get angry.) Well, I'll give it one more chance, if I see her this weekend, for both of us to explain. It may have been that there was no slight intended and the alcohol just set us off. So, with her still considered a friend, I owe it to the friendship to try. Especially when she really needs a friend, and not just another guy trying to get her in bed. Out of all of the guys that we hang out with, that aren't involved with someone, me and Biz are the only two that won't sleep with her. But, she treats friends like we're disposable, that may be why she doesn't have many. And I won't deal with that anymore. If she doesn't want to listen to what I have to say, she has that right. But, that'll be it. Later. The real shame of this is that so far, she has been a good friend. I will miss that, and hope that we can work things out.

So we leave the Crew (me, Biz, Kiwi II, LZ, Porkchop I know you haven't heard about the last two, yet.) and take the taxi ride from hell down to the college area to another club. The first cab we get ends up taking us the wrong direction and toward the main post for the area. (Bad idea at that time of the night.) We tell him to pull over and let us out so we can get a cabbie that knows where we want to go. We get another cab, and after a little bit of discussion, Hangul on his part, English for us, we finnaly get it understood where we wanted to go. (All because I forgot one little word in the phrase, completely changed the meaning. But I got it in my head now. To many languages up in there, I keep getting them mixed up.) The whole ride over there, Porkchop is trying to get the driver to pull over so that he could step out and piss. He had to go REAL BAD! But the driver wouldn't do it. So, when we get there, we all form a wall for him to be able to go right there on the sidewalk. We were all drunk and didn't care. We go to the club, running into some other friends of ours along the way. But the club was dead. I was really surprised, because this place is usually packed on Friday nights. This place is usually filled with Koreans and a few Americans thrown in for flavor. But there was hardly anyone in there. (Which I thought was good for reasons all my own.) Well, after a little bit, me and Biz decide to call it a night. On the way to the cab stand we stop off at an airsoft shooting gallery type place. Where you can fire Airsoft (plastic BBs for ammo) versions of the M-9 9mm pistol, M-4 rifle, AK-47, and the M-134 mini-gun. Even drunk, me and Biz were knocking down targets like it was nothing. (Biz said that our shooting was attracting a crowd. Which is saying something, cause it was COLD.) And we each won a little wind chime thing. (The one I got was WAAYYY to girly, so I gave it to a couple of friends in the barracks.) Anyway, we also get a hot dog before getting the cab. Go back to Biz's I'm trying to crash on the couch and that's when I realize I really drank WAY too much. Yep, I wasted the money on a hot dog. But, I felt better afterwards and fell right to sleep. But I paid for it the next morning, boy did I pay. (You know, as old as I am, I should know better than to drink when I get angry. Because everytime I do, I drink too much. Oh well.)

The next night was better, Me and Biz went out to the Crew. I started by sticking to Cokes. But I ended up having 2 drinks that night. But only 2, and I took my time with them. The Brit didn't show up. Which was probably a good thing, as I was still angry. (Angry, but sober. Much better than angry and drunk.) I went home early, cause I just wasn't feeling it. Plus, we were supposed to get some snow. We did, but it didn't last long. And the rest of my weekend passed rather blandly. But that's about it.

Now for a few pics. Sorry, but Biz din't dance anywhere there was a camera, if he danced at all.

Remember I mentioned the Cuban?



And this was the result of our snow storm.




I'll see ya'll later.

Its FRIDAY

   Yeah!!!!  Its FRIDAY!!!  Well, another week has finally come to an end.  And its about time too.  Tonight me, Biz and the Brit are going to go and celebrate her (the Brit's) birthday.  I'm sure that there will be plenty of drinking to go around.  And then, tomorrow, is the late Thanksgiving dinner over at another friends house.  Looks like it'll be a good weekend.  Oh, and Biz says that there won't be any pics of him dancing, we'll see.  (evil laugh.)

   Also, I'm sending my laptop off to get fixed.  (again)  But, I won't have it back into my posession until I go home for leave.  So, I'm still stuck with the comp at work.  Oh well.  At least I still have some internet access.  Even if it is monitored and restricted.

   Well, I really don't have anything to write about, so that's about it for today.  Oh, by the way, today is a half day at work for me too.  So, even better.  I'll see ya'll later.